Wednesday, October 1, 2008

October Delight

October 01, 2008
Start of the month.
Start of my month.

Six nights to go before my birthday! Ahaha! I’m a bit excited for the fact that I’m turning fifteen. Just kidding. I’m turning nineteen yet I looked like a high school student. Actually, nothing really changed when I turned eighteen, the so-called “legal age”. Legal for what? I’m officially permitted to do anything. Know why? It’s the word “trust”.

My family trusts me.
They trust me a lot.

And I will never shatter that trust into pieces.

Opps! More bills to go.
I need to read and comment on the bills made my classmates and youth congress friends.
Ciao!




^network changed: from globe to sun

Monday, September 29, 2008

29th of september...

my tooth is aching..
>.<
Gawd! I’m not in the mood of making our thesis. I can’t concentrate. Err.
I’m planning to post another poem but still I’m busy. Certified GC (grade-conscious) or just lazy? Whatever! Ahaha!
My brother is inviting to go to the mall with my sister-in-law together with my nephew and niece. Well I better get dress now. It’s my kind of medication. The mall. Lolz
Ciao!
^9 days before our 3 month-sary

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

for the so-called GUEST

Who are you to judge me as a "snob" person?

Let me know your name.
Let me know who are you and give me your reason/reasons to come up with that very deductive conclusion. Did I did something wrong to you? Were there instances that you approached me and I didn’t entertain you? What?

Hiding your true identity by just living your name as "Guest" shows that your a bit coward, oh may I say real coward since you like a fight or an argument in the net. How pity.

Defend yourself. I'm an open-minded person don't worry.
You can pm (personal message) or put you comment on this page.

May I share too "ang mga bahag ang buntot ang laging talo".






^you can’t judge, you not aware of my real personality.

Friday, September 5, 2008

busy days..

Fully loaded!

Damn it im so busy.
I can't even do a glance on this blog in the past few weeks.

Hell days.
I can feel the pressure.
Yes! Im already experiencing the real college life.
Happy yet tired.
Good Luck to me.







^just droppin' by.




Wednesday, August 27, 2008

the congress




Shai is: Working on a Bill


Whoosh!

After my delivering my debate speech yesterday with my wobbly hands and voice, now I’m working on a public work bill. It's entitled “Motorcycle Lanes on Main Roads and Highways Throughout the Country ” its just for our Parliamentary Practices and Procedures Subject for us to learn how to make one. I think we will also use this in our incoming simulation/youth congress. I hope that I can make this act better.

In addition, yesterday we went in the House of the Representatives in Congress. At first I thought I wont enjoy being there because of my migraine, but thanks for the medicine I took, I feel okay and I ecstatically explore the house. Ahaha! Pictures here and there.

Even though honestly, the session itself of the congressmen and congresswomen was a bit boring, I still treasure my step in Congress, the place soon I’ll work in. ü





^a lawyer or an economist?

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I’m down in the dumps.

I feel so: depressed (o.O)

I wanna run.
I wanna shout.
I wanna cry.

Really I’m down in the dumps.

This is the 4th invitation I received to be on the G-list in Embassy, yet I can’t make it AGAIN. I want to join with my friends but under circumstances and the people around, badly and sadly I can’t go. I miss the gimik session that I used to do last vacation. However, things change, status change, people change as well as the situation change and this change brought me to the stream of awful disappointment.

I think I shall better shut my mouth now.
I’ll just concentrate on doing my debate speech for Tuesday and the Bill Proposal that I needed today.

Damn it but I’m not in the mood of writing.





^Honestly, I feel so sorry for myself.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Lie-low on blogging...

Im so: Tired as Usual

Howdy!
What’s new with that sentiment?

As always, I’m tired because my classmates went here in our house for us attend a regular session in our barangay today.

Of course before the meeting I have to entertain them here.
I cleaned the house early this morning.
I layout my cousin’s proposal tarpaulin designs for their coffee festival.
I prepared myself and fixed some papers.
Then I helped my mother cooked our food and set-up the table and ate with my classmates.

After that we directly went to the session and it took almost 5 hours yet we weren’t able to finish the meeting for the fact that 2 of our midterms are to be given tomorrow. We have to read the Analects of Confucius. Damn so long and too difficult to understand. Ahaha!

I just pass by here.

I missed blogging but I don’t have much time now. I think I failed on our Public Finance subject. Crap me. I need enough sleep. I know the answers but I wasn’t able to follow the instruction since I’m too dizzy when I’m taking up the exam. I cried, and cried, and cried after the test. Anyways, I feel better now. I already realized that that’s my fault too; I didn’t sleep early the night before the test.

Now I have to concentrate on my studies.
Nothing else, for the meantime.
Just studies. ü






^damn i really wanna go to emba..

Monday, August 11, 2008

Midterm Week




Currently Listening: Trans Music


Whoah! 10 days had past.

I wasn’t able to publish a post. Hmm, it’s because last week our midterm examination has started. Six test for my six major subjects.


Last Friday (Aug. 08) that first test was given. It was a big shit. Just kidding. I’m so blissful that I passed that Monetary Economics midterm. Though I wasn’t the one who got the highest score, I think I belong to the highest top 5. *grin.

But still there’s nothing to celebrate yet. Five more assessments to go.

Review.
Review.
and
Review are the things that I have to execute this week.

Honestly I’m a grade-conscious person and I’m not ashamed of it because there nothing wrong being a GC. But surely, I’m not a nerd or a geek.

_________



On the other side of my Life:

We just celebrated our first monthsary.
August 08, 2008

Nothing’s really memorable happened but the thought that I spent my time with him that day (08/08/08) was the moment that I will surely cherish. He will always be a part me. ^^,












^Im going to read Paulo Coelho’s Book.

Friday, August 1, 2008

A Cup of Coffee

Current Condition: Sluggish In Doing Stuff

Wee! The weather really makes me weak and lazy to go to school. So cold. Plus, I’m experiencing dysmenorrhea right now. It is a medical condition characterized by severe uterine pain during menstruation. Err. I don’t think that I can make it to school but I have too. Not only because its Friday but because I need to talk to our college dean and our chairperson for my best buddy Janno since he stopped attending school now. Also for my Economic Statistic subject which I really love to attend to. Boo on me but I like Math. They said it sucks, but what wrong with the numbers? Ahaha! Lunatic Shai.

Now Playing: This Is Why I’m Hot.
Very irony for the weather. Im already using my old sarong today. Cool. Im like a Muslim.


Hmm. Got to go. I have to prepare myself. C
lasses start at 12.

Ciao!




^Ohh Dancing. I miss you badly. >_<

Monday, July 28, 2008

Blogging Addiction


Current Condition: Sleepy, Tired and Full of Load to Work on.


Chilly Morning Guys!

Almost 3 hours before the State of the Nation Address and everywhere you can hear the people uttering all their expectations on what will SONA contain. Again and again promises that are made to be broken.

By the way I would like to welcome my cousin in the blogging world. She said that she read my blog and was a bit convinced. I become one of her inspiration (is that okay to say that? Ehehe) why she ended up having her own.

I’m heavenly delightful that we can now update each other. We’re so busy in school these days that’s why we can’t chat on the phone daily. Also we’re not into using cell phones (txting) in chatting.

My other two close cousins still don’t have a blog and I’m planning to pursue them to make one. Besides blogging is not that intricate. It’s just putting all your thoughts together that day. Expressing what you feel and viola! A post! You can use whatever language your best in. The one you prefer so that you can express the whole you in the post.

You can also find friends here that possesses the same characteristics you have. In addition, blogging is mean of communicating with the people far from you. In this way companionship never fades and the tie on relationships tighten.

Before I was so lazy posting. But now encoding all the words on my mind is similar as a loud shout. It’s like a easing some pain. After I a post I was really relieved.
This blog is like a vitamin to me. It generates my heart and mind healthy.

So for the others why not try to have one!





^Actually this is my 4th and finest blog.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

stike 1




Another post for the day!

It’s because my first post today (the SONA) is not really related on this one. Just wanna share why I’m annoyed till now.

Having a relationship with someone is sometimes frustrating to the point that every move you do should be rhymed, and every bad response from your partner should be follow up with mushy actions. Either pleasing him in sweet baby talk or through sensual affection.

And that’s the problem with us or should I say the problem with me. I dunno how to fix things back. Short-temper attitude towards me add pressure making me feel that all the guilt was to be blame on me.
I love him.

I love you and I know you can feel that but...













can you please let me adjust?


^Kudos on Problem.

my political stand

Current Status: Over-loaded with School Works plus Being Annoyed


Three days before the State of the Nation Address. I’m a bit excited on what will President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo will proclaim and boast on her previous years serving the Filipino people. The follow-ups with her project like the Super Regions, construction of the Clean Coal Power Plant, Cheaper Medicine Bill, Stronger Laws against Election Violence and the giving 121B fund for Education that she promised to execute in 2007. Those are just some of the highlights in her flowery and dramatic speech. I hope that before giving her word again she’ll make sure that we, the Filipino masses sensed it.

Like me as a student the allocated 121B for our education is like a planet. I know that it was there in the universe but I can’t be there or experience to be there. I don’t need to tackle it more. It’s just simple like that. Where was the said fund go?

But aside from those tentative things 0ne query triggers my mind a lot.

Does still the government people have there conscience? They are acting innocently in front of the public that they didn’t do anything appalling move behind us. The plundering and the corruption in every project they passed. Using the government fund for their personal necessities and luxury. Even sometimes using the fund for their hidden agenda and rebellious propaganda. Other keeps on subsidizing it on their pockets for the coming election. How pitiful our country is with these officials lead by a fascist leader.

Well I’m expecting another flowery speech from the president made by her writer. Two hours of lies and busted promises. We want actions not convey.

Absolutely after delivering her speech booboos from the opposition will surely sprout here and there.

^I'm not an anti-Gloria.



Monday, July 21, 2008

Pissed-Off

It was bullshit!

I have nothing against anybody unless he/she made something bad on me. I did not judge any person because my friend hates her. And I wont surely make an awful statement on a person that I don’t know personally.

Damn you to compare me. That’s why we are called INDIVIDUAL. We have our own characteristics and specialties. Sorry I’m not beautiful like your goddess-like friend. But I have a pleasing and high-class personality with an extensive mind in doing fine manners towards other.

Also I have my name. Don’t address me as “That girl”.

You’re so pathetic. Behave like a real lady, not like a bitch. Insecurities will just make you worst. If your friend hates me, let her loathes me, but with regards to you? It’s none of your business.



^Simple comment, irksome outcome.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

an old wretched poem

Hindrance

I wanna fall and be with you
But there’s something telling me not to
Don’t known what’s the reason behind
Things separate us with a big line

We love each other only in mind
A special feeling we cannot hide
Lover's act based on trust
But our denial is a must

We can talk and see each other
We can idle away and sing together
But there’re limitations that we consider
And that we should relieve forever

You’re a whimsical and cheerful to me
So do I a bubbly person you can see
Laughter in our eyes never fades easily
'Cause we cherish each other happily.

But despite those smile in our eyes
As you know we cannot tell lies
Desire a path without charade in our face
And start a journey in that maze

___________
As i've promise here's the another poem that i made. Sounded that Im so emotional when I was doing it. That was for my a friend when I was in first year college. Though our "too-much-close-friendship-like-lovers" didn’t continue to a "so-called-relationship" Im happy that even now were friends, the feeling is gone but we still have the attachment.

Im contented and blissful with that.

Just wanna share.


^Im not a writer. Criticisms are accepted.

Monday, July 14, 2008

mixed thoughts

Rainy Afternoon!

I’m stuck at home. Anyways nothing's new. Every Monday afternoon my pc is my best buddy. Actually I don't have any topic or subject for today's posting. I just want to publish something.

Let me just discuss anything under the sun:

I have a new nail polish. Manicure and pedicure for tomorrow's class. So girly.

Oh may I share storm Helen is starting to invade the country. Its already 24degree Celsius. A bit cold. Here in Pasig heavy rain and strong winds are frightening and im a bit chillin'. I’m wearing my pajamas in the afternoon. Ahaha! Insanity you may think but it’s really cold here. Maybe because I’m still ill with cough and colds.

I need a Humorous speech tomorrow. But I still don't have any. Im not in the mood of writing. For the fact that really don't know how to write a humorous speech. Im not a comical person. Duh? And I already have confidence why should I need to gain more? Ahaha! Just kiddin'. I’m planning to cram it tonight.

Next time I’ll be posting my poem. Maybe on Wednesday, or on Thursday but surely not tomorrow.

Hmm.. what else? I’m missing someone. Do I need to shout the name? Ahaha! I miss My Jonathan. Our 8th day will be on Wednesday. I hope that we can see each other even for an hour.

That’s it. I’m already starving already.
Ciao!



^Fixing this blog is a bit complicated.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

firework display!

Currently Status: Tired yet Happy

My legs are aching. my mind is gidding. My eyes is teary.
Yet
Im blissful. Im contented. Im so in-love.

We had our galaan session today. We went in Megamall then in Mall of Asia. We walked and walked and ate and talked and ate and talked from 2:30pm till 9:30 this evening. Actually I just changed my clothes then do this posting. As I’ve said Im so tired yet happy because I spent my day with my Jonathan. The best part today was when were in MOA, its the fireworks that counts. So romantic for me, the thought that we were together that moment watching the sky with bright lights. It was so heartwarming for a person like me that is so emotional.

Together we cherish every moments because Fridays' and Sundays' are the only constant day that we can see each other. They will have their family gathering tomorrow that’s why we had our date today.


Also yesterday he surprised me because he confessed why he had difficulties when walking. He said that he joined fencing training on their school just trying his luck to be an athlete. I asked him why he did that. He just answered, "Because I want you to be proud of me". Aww! I was so touched. Really I was shocked. He’s doing that for me. I wasn’t able to comment. May I repaet "really I was shocked". He’s making sacrifices for better things between us.

*Sigh.

I can’t explain how glad I am. Having him as my boyfriend is not shameful. But doing such thing makes me really shout and show to others how proud and very lucky I am having him in my life.

I hope that this good relationship between us continues.



^My heart grows fonder.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

so unwell

Mornings habit every Thurdays: Surfing the Internet.


Ohm, bad intro for this post but I’m sick. I have a cough and cold. I think it started last Wednesday and it's already a weeklong. My mother stopped me to take medication since I drunk already more than 8tables with 500milligrams together with other medication for my allergy, migraine, and dismenorhea, all for a week. I might get over-dosed.

Water-therapy is what I’m practicing right now. Water, and water, and water for the whole day. It’s a bit good for dieting thingy but still I have to eat for my immune system.

3hours from now I will be on school and do those difficult math problems in our Monetary Economics. I hope that my brain will function. Crap. There are times that I think can’t comprehend well because of this cold.

Good luck to me guys.
Pray for me to get well soon.




*Sniff
*Sniff
*Achuu!



^I miss my special someone now. I need his comfort. Ahaha!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

a day with him

Whoaah!

That’s is. In a snap things are settled down and I hope that it would last for a lifetime. I hope that he was really the one. I hope that I made the right decision.

July 08 2008
Between to 7pm-7: 30pm
Not so good place: inside a car
Along Crossings, Mandaluyong
Going to Megamall

That’s the details. I can't believe that for the first time ever Im already committed to my special someone. The feeling is so blissful yet a bit nervous for the circumstances that may hinder us to have a good relationship. I'll just enjoy every single moment when we are together. I will show him how I care. I will make sure that he will not regret that I came to his life. Also, t
rust is our no.1 must.

He’s my first boyfriend but he said that he didn't want to be my first but my LAST. aww!

Now I’m contented having him, attached with him and fully committed.

Adjusting, adapting, and settling.
3 things I should execute this time.

I can't express through his blog how happy I am right now and how much I love him. Things that happened today still linger on my mind. Lets just say that this time WITHOUT HIM MY EVERYDAY LIFE WON'T BE COMPLETE.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

tueday's line

I can’t find the right and the best word to describe what I feel today. It’s a mixed emotion of being happy, missing someone, tired, exhausted and sleepy.

Im happy for the fact that I got 20/20 in our paper in Economics with Public Finance because not everyone got that score. It’s a reaction paper about Douglass North and his works in the field of economics. I made that when the storm, Frank invaded our country, I was so sleepy and lazy back then but I was able to make the best of it.

I miss my special someone right now. We weren’t able to see each other today because of the conflict in our schedule. Today is Tuesday. Friday is our day. Though we were together yesterday I miss him already. We weren’t able to have communication the whole day too because my phone is lowbatt. I want to talk to him right now but he is still on the way home.

Tired. It was last week; especially last night I had my cramming session. I finished my report that was supposed to be discussed today. But it was postponed since our professor enjoyed discussing his lecture and forgot that he assigned us to report this day. He said that we would have our oral next week. It’s a bit disappointing but at least there's a week more for me to prepare.

Im so exhausted, a bit problematic and sleepy right now. Lack of sleep, no complete meals, mixed pointers in mind, problems and works in school. I’m trying to make up things one by one. First through sleeping, eating though without rice, scheduling everything and doing stuff 2-3days before the deadline is what I have in my plan, and being optimistic in everything is what I have as my source of strength that i can do all the task assigned to me.
goodluck to me!
goodluck to us!



Sunday, June 29, 2008

cramming days

So many things to do that are to be submitted on tuesday but until now i wasn't able to do any. Im so lazy doing my homeworks. Maybe because i don't have energy for the fact that im not eating rice for a week. A no-rice-DIE-T. Just kidding. Im really in a diet, i need to lose some weight though im not that fat. My tummy area is damn so big. Ahaha! I already stop drinking beers.

Thats the reason why i was not able to post new entry.

Sometimes Im not in the mood.
Sometimes I dont have anything to share.
Sometimes Im so busy doing other more important things
Sometimes Im just lazy.

Got to go already. I need to start morning cramming!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

mind-set of the damsel

Ever wonder who's the gurl behind this blog? Where did she get all her thoughts? How she writes? How her mind works?

The girl who hides her tears by laughing.
The girl who hides her pain by smilling.
The girl who hides the sadness by lying.

The damsel who tries to cover everything by making herself happy despite of the sorrow she felt.

How pathetic am I you may thought but I have a superb optmistic mind-set. I believe in the adage "every cloud has a silver lining".

Life is tough. Really tough. That's why we should be strong enough to face all the obstacles in our life, no matter how rigid it may be.

Me, personally, I have that numerous problems. In schools, in our house, with my friends and even with relatives.

Like in school, I have my so close friend turned into my worst nightmare. He's bullying me now. He teased me and it came to the point that I wanted to cry in school. I wanted to slap him for saying rumors on me. I wanted to punch him. But I was able to control my anger. I just prayed. Prayed for him and prayed for a longer patience. I don't wanna have a fight with him. I don't wanna argue. I just let him talk, talk and talk about me. As long as he doesn't do physical things with me. I will remain calm and silent.

Emotinally he kills me. But optimistically, soon, I believe that things between us will be fix.

The're times when Im alone I wanted to burst. I wanted to cry my heart out. To shout all my pains. To hurt those who hurt me. To perish all my griefs by hurting my own self. But I was bunged. One song says that:

"there's a rainbow always after the rain"

Im stick with it. After the storm in our life surely a rainbow with shine. Another good day. A new beggining. The end of suffering.

That's how i think.
That's how my mind works.
I often think about negative things.

I often think about the people who hated me. Why should I waste my time thinking for them? I have a lot of acquaintances who cares and loves me.

Im happy with friends.
Im contented with companions.
Most of the time I have to cover my angst but little by little i worked on it.


Sometimes we just need to wear charade..


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

first tag?

hi bloggers!

its my firts time to have a blog here in blogspot. i do have 2 blogs before, in wordpress and livejournal. but im not that super addicted and updated way back then. thats why i started to create this blog and decided that i will continue this one till i reach the age of 40's. lolz. but seriously i want this blog to be my first and last blog here in blogger.

i copy-paste some of my post in wordpress for some backgrounds. ehehe..

hope that visitors will not get tired visiting here! comments, links, comments are always welcome..

ciao!


undecided thoughts

Dated: may 24, 2008
From Wordpress


err..
i dunno what to feel right now. this guy is nagging me again. i mean knocking on hearts’ door AGAIN. asking if he has still a space in here ♥. and i don’t know how should i act. there are so many thoughts that stop me to let things happen. its like the famous cliche “my heart says yes but my brain says no”. mind over matter.


he gives me reasons to fall again but also unmarked hints to control my feelings.
he treats me very special.
he’s so sweet when im around.
he keeps on texting me that he cared.
that he still love.


but i have no assurance.

he still have his ex-girlfriend’s pictures on some of his accounts with some mushy captions.
keep on track in his *smart network where he can text his ex.

i enjoyed his company but when the day is over. everything becomes all doubtful.
skeptic.


so skeptic..
and now im the pathetic girl thinking of what to do.


*unfinished..

my summer stress-free vacation

Dated: April 25, 2008
From Wordpress


Hi everyone!
How’s life?
How vacation?

Well me, I’m still stock in my cousins house in Taytay, Rizal. Anyhow, I’m enjoying being here except for the fact that I can’t go on gimik. We can go to mall, but once a week, or it depends on my other cousin’s mood.

Additionally, I loved to reside here because of the climate. The hotness is not that superb not like in Pasig, where I used to live all of my life. Also I think here I’m stress-free. I have nothing to think of. And if I get too emotional I have my close cousins whom I can talk to. For a short period of time I can forget all my worries in life, all my problems and tribulations that trigger my mind everyday when I’m alone at home. My mentality is at rest over time. ϋ

The clean air invigorates my body.
The fresh fruits rejuvenate my health.
The happy people around revitalize my soul.

Truly this vacation has meant a lot to me.

I have a great time with my cousins, namely Ate Joyce, Krab Mina and Grem Lyn. Funny nicknames, right? That’s the unstoppable spirit on us. We’re so bond together that we have those comical nicknames that we used to call each other. Mine was Chinay Chai.

We talk about everything under the sun. Share our thoughts and insights. Giggle with on our school mistakes and funny experiences. Utter some gossips that we heard that day. Give each other advices and words of wisdom. That’s how open our communication is. Revealing something is not that big deal. They are like my sibs. That’s why I really love them.

I hope that this setting won’t have an ending.
Friend’s forever.
Cousin’s together.

my last song sydrome

Dated: April 19, 2008
From Wordpress



IF I FALL
by Amber Pacific


This is for the ones who believe their lives won’t change

Hoping that someday things will mend and be the same
And this is for the ones who have lost it all
And all that’s left to gain
Is a simple reminder that the things that we’re blind to slip away

How can I say

Say I’ll be okay

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause

Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go on
Just a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on

Now that the line’s been brokenI’m too afraid to just look back

The pages have left an empty space
You were all I hadWhy does it have to be this way
These things they’ll never change
Still I’m left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause

Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go on
Just a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause

Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go on
Just a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on


_______________

I’m really into this song for the past few weeks. I’m not an emo but I loved this one. This reminds me of my pathetic situation with my special someone. The one I used to loved, but then he left me broken. Optimistically, I thought things will be fine again but then I was wrong.

“How can I say
Say I’ll be okay”

If in reality I was not.

“You were all I hadWhy does it have to be this way
These things they’ll never changeStill I’m left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need”

I find this line irresistible.

“And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go onJust a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on”

Until now, he still lingers on my mind. Yes, I’m not totally over him. It’s sad to admit that after that heartrending tale between us I’m still waiting for him.

Waiting in vain.

I was waiting in vain as my friends said but I know I’m not.

I believe, soon he will see my worth. All the things I made just for him. The attention I pay on him. He will value me as I valued him.

How hopeless am I?
Is this the real me?
Ohh one thing I know.
I just loved.


By the way the rhythm of this song is so relaxing. Listen to it. Here’s the link. Enjoy!

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/amber_pacific/if_i_fall.html

untitled poem

Dated: April 11, 2008
From Wordpress




Untitled Poem..

Your presence
Wakes me up in the morning
In my dreams
You’re the one I’m with
I cherish ever moments we’ve made together
Think of our future and
Wish that we might last forever.

I assumed things would be fine
No what if’s
No how if’s
Like a teenager boy running
No hindrances
No problems.

But my assumptions exceeds to its maximum
I felt so down
I’m cast down in the rooms of loneliness
I’m doomed
Doomed on the things that happened
He’s like a bubble that was cast in the air
Flocked by the wind and then
Disappeared.

What happened?
Is all I can ask.
What’s the problem?
A question that giddy my mind
Did I do something wrong?
Did I hurt you in a way I didn’t noticed?
Ohh my what happened to us?

He missed that chance
He stick with his past
Yes, I was forfeited
Forfeited by him
But
I felt no anger
Just disappointment
I made a wrong choiceIt’s my fault
Yet I’m not blaming myself
Or anyone
It’s my own choice

At least
I triedI risked
I tried our luck
I risked my heart
I ventured if were meant to be
If were destined to be
Together.

Now
He can free his mind from me
Move away if he wanted
Think over things
Conclude on what he really feels

A chance is only given
On those deserving one
The man who knows how to appreciate
Appreciate everything from big to small
Accepts her love wholly
Accepts the real me.

Someday I will find that man
The man destined for me.
Not now
Not tomorrow
But soon..


____________

They say that a person can write a poem because he/she is inloved or inspired with his/her special someone, but that’s not true all the time. Me, I write poems when I’m totally down. Through this I can express how poignant my heart was. I don’t have the courage to talk to anybody because I know surely tears will fall. I don’t want them to have pity on me.

And now in this poem I’m totally depressed. Disappointment, sadness, and being downcast are the mixed emotions I felt. I never risk my heart before but then when he came I was overjoyed and set-aside all my thoughts about the perils that may lead our way.

But then I made a wrong decision. He’s not ready to love again and I don’t wanna force him to love me back for the reason that I do love him so.

One thing that keeps on running on my mind right now is if he's really for me, he will surely return. If we were meant to be he will make a move for us to be with each other side forever. Im waiting. Still waiting.



As of now were good friends now but the wound that he left in my heart won’t be healed that easy.

yesterday's downfall

Dated: April 10, 2008
From Wordpress


March 09, 2008

One of the highlights in my life happened. a serious problem with my close friend endeavored our friendship.

For a just petty reason, she’s willing and can give up our friendship. A group message hurted her alot. A message swanking how we really enjoy a party where wasn’t able to attend. I never thought that we will exchanged some personal messages in a mad way. Though most are intellectual and emotional one.

She cried. One of our common friend said. Her purposed is to just say SORRY to me for she wasn’t able to controlled her temper. I think she got mad at me for almost a week. And that personal text message break her silence. But I can’t wholly feel her apology. Some lines in her text still lingers on my mind. Who will not freak-out if a old close friend of yours says that “you’ve change” and advice you to “don’t let your old friends feel that they were set aside“.

Im not setting her aside. Im not taking her feelings for granted. Were just cracking some jokes in that GM. Nothing more, nothing less.

Thank God, now things are settled down. I told her that i don’t wanna waste our friendship just because of that. I say sorry too for being too frank in our conversation and the things that i did which upsets her. She said she wanted to talk to me personally, for us to fully makes things right.
Im 100% willing too.

I love her.
I treasure her.
I appreciate her.
I owe her half of my wonderful life.


That’s why I will never let any tribulations unleash our bond.

My Averting Thoughts

Dated: April 09, 2008
From Wordpress


Averting Thoughts

You’re my light when everything seems dark
Urge me a lot that left a mark
You curved and design my rotten bark
Induce me to be with the great lark

You’re identical to a scent on a perfume
Can turn all head like a doomed
Relief and relax myself from gloom
And helps very much to make me bloom

To catch your attention is not that hard
But you’re like a jewel with so many guards
Try my best to enter your ward
Yet I’m still nothing in your yard

Damsel around thee always stick
To see you with them makes me feel so sick
‘Coz I know one day you will pick
The one you like, surely will cause me weak

A pen is useless without an ink
Like me I’m worthless if I can’t think
So before anything that can be link
I prefer myself not to sink


_______


i really don’t know how to start this entry.. that’s why i ended up putting one of my old yet memorable poem i made when i was in first year college. this is not the first time i made a blog but i think this will be the first serious and updated blog i will use. geez im ready to accept criticiams.. lol

ciao friends
gotta eat lunch first!