_perceptions of an entity_

English Class at Makati

2010-06-02T15:58:00.002+08:00

Would you like to improve on any of the following areas?

Public Speaking,
English Proficiency,
Writing, Grammar,
American accent,
Impromptu Speech,
Confidence,
Critical Thinking,
Creative Thinking, and more...

For more information just call or text me at my mobile no. 0922-802-1188, or email me at egarcia@aiepro.org and use the code ...aiepeg01! I can give you Php 1,000 off the rate! :-)

Month of May

2010-05-23T21:38:00.004+08:00

Our catechism mini-camp was a success! A very tiring yet fruitful day for God. I'm not a catechist (a teacher), but I'm one of the organizer. I'm part of the media sector. There are like 63 kids that we guided and feed from 8am till 5 in the afternoon.

It was so fulfilling that the kids said they learned a lot and went home with a smile on their faces though the weather was really hot. I'll upload the picture next time. :)

Another busy week for the Sagala. WooHoo!

__________________

On the other side of the coin: This picture will tell you a lot.

It happened last May 14, 2010, at World Trade Center Pasay.

Yehey!

I'm already a certified Bachelor of Science in Political Economy Graduate. Still undecided whether to go for graduate school or not. For now, I look for a job first. It only means.............

Job Hunting this week. Wish me luck!

Ramdom..

2010-05-08T21:34:00.003+08:00

I'm done with my requirements in school. Yey! All I need is to look for a dress that will make me shine on my commencement day. I'm still undecided what color to wear. Yellow, black, white or sky blue? I'm planning to buy this coming Tuesday after the election.

We had our 6th month-sary celebration. Well it's not actually celebration, we just had a casual dinner at home. Everything was perfect, I think. We actually tried to make things perfect. He stayed here until around 11pm yesterday and (I think) went home with a smile. I cant believe that after 6 months we're still together and ok. He's too busy and stress with his work. I'm so pasaway and my mood swings strikes at times yet here we are.

I'm just so happy and words aren't enough to explain why.

I so love my baboi. :)

Which way to go?

2010-05-04T12:35:00.003+08:00

3 days before our 6th month-sary,

4 days to finish my school requirements,

6 days before the first automated election here in the Philippines and

10 days before my college graduation.

Whoa! I'm back and I'm planning to be active again. :)

I missed blogging.

It's really hard when you don't have someone to talk to when you're depress.

Though I proudly have my partner (Edwardson Garcia), sometimes he's busy with his own life and I don't want to add burden.

Err. My mind is torn between school and work. Crap.

I really wanted to go to graduate school, MA in Economics. Yet, my parents said that they will not support me anymore so I need to work on my own. At first it's okay to me, but as days goes by my enthusiast to go slowly diminish. Working and studying at the same time will be very hard and I don't think I can make it. Sigh. Sad that I need to choose my priority. I need to decide before the end of this month.

Graduate school or Work?

:'(

PM Sent

2009-11-23T11:51:00.002+08:00

Just like the old times.
I keep on coming back here.
Busy in school so I wasn't able to update this blog.
So many downturns in my life happened.
But it makes me stronger.
It enhances my critical thinking in deciding.
I wont regret anything.
Im happy with my choice.
Opps! No more emotional lines.

Wee. I miss some of my co-bloggers.
Hope to have a chitchat with you soon.

Lovelots.
chai~

update

2009-10-07T00:35:00.001+08:00

Happy Twenteen'th Birthday to me!

depression strikes.

2009-10-04T02:19:00.006+08:00

Time:
Philippines: 3:15am
Paris, France: 9:15pm
London, United Kingdom: 8:15pm
Berne, Switzerland: 9:15pm

Well I don’t ~~want to talk about the title,~~ honestly.

I just want it to be there. So that will know what I’m experiencing right now. I’m so cast-down and sort of pissed-off with my partner. I wanted to focus on other things and dont mind it much yet people, situation, and personal commitments boggle my mind.

Nah.. so much for it.
Even my art was affected and was influenced by this crazy emotion.

Earlier while cleaning the dishes, accidentally one of the plates slipped off. So I put the plate in the plastic trash in front of our sink. But then as I continue on what I’m doing my hand swings back to the plastic trash and my hand got injured by the broken plate.

It lacerated my skin and almost exactly on my hand nerve. My sister said that I’m like going to faint because I cried like a child for the reason that I saw too much blood rushing down my hand. Lucky, I was able to manage my emotion. (I hope I can also manage this depression.)

My mother cleaned and put an alcohol and beta-dine then after a band-aid. For me one way of expressing my emotion is through photo editing and here's the result, entitled Lifeless. You can rate it anyways. (scale from 1-10) Just for nothing. Opps! No! for improvements. ϋ

Waah! So much for it. I don't want to cry anymore. Enough is enough.

With regards to him I know sooner or later we can settle everything. BUT think ~~not now~~.

So random? Oh! I wish I could run and escape from this crazy world. ö

^Depression is a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity.
(credits to: http://ardictionary.com)

childlike thoughts..

2009-09-29T00:07:00.007+08:00

Location: Bedroom
Time: 1:10am

Yey! Eight days before my birthday.

I remember when my boyfriend asked my plan for this coming event, I just answered “I have more than one month to think about it” but that’s already in the 2nd week of September. He laughed at me and said “It’s already September, not August” and burst I in giggling that I almost forgot my own birthday.

Well, I think it’s because of my lazy-busy-sloppy-schedule. I wasn’t able to check the coming event in my life: The-Start-of-My-NO-More-TEEN-Years. Yes! I’m turning 20 this October 7.

A bit sad for my numerical age.
Happy for the past 19 years’ good life.
And excited for more experience.

I can’t say that I could not ask for more. There are so many things that I want to have and achieve.

I love possessing new things.

I want a new cellphone. (The one with a TV)
I want a new laptop, or even a notebook.
I want a SLR Camera. (Canon please) etc.

Those are only few things that I’m craving to have, but now I can’t still have. First, is because I’m yet earning my own money and secondly, I don’t want to ~~add burden to my family~~ just to give my luxury. . I need to be contented on what I have now.

So just for my coming birthday I’m planning to give myself a REWARD for I passed one struggling year.

Either the Vanilla Scent Victoria Secret Perfume for my Bath and Body Works and VS perfume is more likely to be empty next month.

Or buy new corporate tees and blouse or even a dress for other coming events.

Or even buy havs’ slippers to treat my feet.

Oh, Paulo Coelho book will also do.

Small things that can make me smile. ϋ

However, as number of our age grows our way of thinking also develops. One thing for sure that can really makes me smile on birthday is my family, boyfriend and close friends.

Just sitting and eating with them on the day of my birth will be the best gift for me.

~~No material things.~~
~~No money.~~
Just their presence.

^countdown..

transformation

2009-09-28T03:24:00.007+08:00

Location: Bedroom
Time: 3:46am

My bestfriend or should I say friend asked me to edit and fix his blog. After I finished it, I’m still not in the mood to do anything for school so I prefer to change my layout too. It’s been a long time since I edit it.

I always have the black and sad color background for my blog, so now I transformed it into something more lightly. Yes, the opposite of black. I tried the color WHITE which I don’t usually use for my backgrounds. I dunno why I picked this color from the palette but I think this is the right time to try something new.

I even alter my favorite picture for my template. Well trying something new for some time is cool and a bit interesting for it may reflect something in you.

Before I always use black for the fact that I always look at my life on its darkest side.

I’m absolutely an optimistic person but I can’t help to think that my life really sucks and so pathetic. Maybe that’s the very reason why I end-up loving the color black.

But now things change as well as my perceptions.
There’s more to LIFE. ϋ

For my old template: Bye bye!

^So what else can you suggest for my blog? ϋ

Soldier in need, Soldier indeed?

2009-09-26T01:07:00.007+08:00

Date: Friday, 28 August, 2009, 10:48 AM

" A couple of days ago, an embarrasing scene was played on tv when a

flip general was carried on someone else shoulder so he wouldnt get wet when
he stepped on a banka boat . the american officer on the other hand waded
on the water and stepped on the banka without any help. See the
symbolism on why the philippines have problems?"

This was a forwarded message from my Uncle who was residing in Toronto Canada. The subject title is "Hindi Dapat Tularan".

I was really surprised and sadden as I saw this picture as well as the indicated message elaborating that the soldier that was being carried was a Filipino Citizen and the other was foreign one. That Filipino soldier's action is a big shame for us. What do you think that foreign soldier thought as he saw that scenario?

What’s happening now a day? Supposedly, soldiers should serve us. Not us, serving them. They have the responsibility to serve and protect the state as well as its countrymen. So if ever there is a flood like that then the soldier should be the one carrying that civilian man.

In addition, all soldiers carry out a wide range of duties. From serving their country, prepare for a combat, work in a close-knit team and to discipline other. But they should learn to discipline their selves first.

I know I don’t have the rights to judge this soldier. Like the creator of this Forwarded Message I’m just an observer.

But let us use this one as a subject for realization of what really is the current status of our country's governance. Good or Bad?

For a while, allow things thy happen and with this let us just wait for the karma (either good or bad) to make its way out.

^Credits to: (See attached file: BrigGenMarcianoIlagan.jpg) who ever started this.

three points..

2009-09-14T00:25:00.004+08:00

Do you consider yourself as a dependent person? Or do you have a person that you think is too much dependent on you? Do you feel disturb when someone asked your companion?

When a person asks you for something like for an advice, then it means that she trusts you. It doesn’t show that she doesn’t know how to solve her own problem but she is just asking for your opinion on how you see that problem on your own side. She trust you that you can keep her questions as a secret and she trusts that you can share advice good for her.

When a person asks you for something like helping her in school stuffs, then it means that she believes in you. It doesn’t mean that she is being a parasite. She just asks your help, but not to do everything for her. As well all know being a parasite is a big no-no for us. It means that she believes in your knowledge and talent.

When a person asks you for something like accompanying her in an event, then it means that she wants you to be a part of it too. It is not just for her to have a companion but she also wants to share and make an unforgettable moment with a person who have a space on her hearts.

It’s not just being dependent.
It’s trusting in your wisdom, believing in your knowledge and most of all sharing her life.

Now it's up to you if you're going to shun your close friends or not.

^monday menace

life's packages..

2009-09-07T23:30:00.008+08:00

Twists and turns in my life are happening every now and then.

First is that we (of course especially me) have a problem in our “never-ending-Policy-Paper-editing”. Our professor limited our use of words into 3,000 characters for the Chapter 1 to Chapter 4 of our Policy Paper. Good thing we have the four chapters already but the negative side is that we exceeded the limit. We used 8,779 characters, so that simply implies that we need to rephrase everything, from the Chapter 1 which is the Introduction to Chapter 4, Discussion of Findings to just tag on the 3,000 words limit. Gasp. That’s what you call major editing.

Next stop. Another twist.

My so-called best-friend-forever (BFF) is starting to avoid me. Well, he never did much the previous days but he will soon, I think and can vibes it somehow. Yes! He was just my “so-called BFF” because I just thought of that, I just assumed that he will be my BFF, yet the bricks start to fall and little by little... will totally be destroy. Sad but that’s life. As the saying goes, “people come and go” we just have to go with the flow.

“There is a silver lining behind every cloud.”

Well, it really shows how optimistic I ‘am.

No matter what is happening in my life right now, still there is only one person whom I always have on my side.

In twist and turns,
through thick and thin,
and in every storm that tears down my dream,
I always have him.

It’s almost 1 year and 2 months of making happy, cherish-able moments, struggling love quarrels and busy schedules conflict with him, but still here we are, living in our present and making plans for our future.

Happy 14th Month Jonathan Yap!

Thank you for understanding my childish thinking, for the trust, for the looooong patience and of course for the infinite love and care for me.

I love you and I always will.

A bit mushy. But then in this way I can show to the world how happy and blessed I 'am for having someone like him in my life.

^my unconditional love

frustrated-photo-editor

2009-08-26T12:56:00.005+08:00

Hello! =)
Pretty bored here.

Just making photo editing again.
Me and my lappy.
This photo was taken last August 22, when my thesis-mates slept in our house.

Another one.
This are my chums. So childish.

Lastly, I've said we are so busy in school stuffs and here are the notes on my wall that should be accomplish as soon as possible.

Well, somekinda picture blog. Hope you enjoyed looking at my stuffs.

Have a nice day!

^chatting with HIM.. =)

so random..

2009-08-25T17:35:00.005+08:00

Hey long time no post!
What's up people?
I missed some many events in life that wasn't post and share with you.

So here am I, planning to be active again. Even though we are working on our Policy Paper (it's like forever working on it) I will pursue to continue updating my blog.

What's new about me?

First, is that I'm attending a class. An English class to be specific.

American Institution for English Proficiency located in Makati.

I think I already mentioned it before but I want to share it again to you (specially those who are in the Philippines) because their specialist are really good (like Mia and Chris!) and their office is open for everyone. I received a very warming welcome when I had my first day class. As well as the staffs and old students.

We don't have dsl-connection! Too bad. The PLDT said that there's an international problem with regards to that but I wonder why my cousin on our next block can do internet surfing? Well their operators will be a shock-absorber for my brother's anger if they won't fix it as soon as possible.

Thank God I don't need to rent on a computer shop. Why? Simply because I'm the one who's in-charge of watching over my relatives computer shop here near our house so I can do the internet surfing the whole day.

I miss my chums online.
-ate cathy
-ish
-karen
-teacher makis
-kring
-cousin rem
-tepai
-rainne
-demi

and many many more. lol.

I think that's enough as of now.
I'll post pictures soon. Many pictures! For a better update.

Ciao!

^now playing: time of your life

Nightmare-Twist-Plus-Creative Stuffs..

2009-07-23T12:00:00.010+08:00

Cheese cake plus softdrinks.. yum!

Yeah I'm an early bird today.
I had two nightmares. Whoah. I wished those dreams won't happen this soon. xXx-Getting preggy?-xXx. Haha! No-no-NO. Never been in that process of getting preggy. Honestly. Haha!

Anyways, change that absurd topic.

The Newspaper Thingy? We planned print it out on Saturday and launch it on the first Monday of August. I hope things will work out according to the plan. *cross-fingers

Here's the copy of the Front page of the Newpaper-slash-Magazine that I (proudly?) layout.
This is from the publishers so some lines that are invisible in printing are still seen here.

Another Picture, I made this the other night when I can't feel any sleepiness.
I learned how to change the color of my eyes. Photoshop! Somekinda color green? =)

Opps! I just changed the color of my eyes, and the side background, my cheeks and lips are for real. Haha! No zits! No nothing. Lol.

Sorry can't stop posting it. Haha! Vanity strikes again!

Later I'm gonna share you our Acquaintance Party pictures in The Prince of Jaipur and our after gimik in White Ave in Timog.

So see yah later guys!
Hugs and kisses!

^i gotta a feeling..

grumble but will not tumble..

2009-07-21T23:06:00.006+08:00

listening to Hillsong's Music..

Never been here for a long time huh.

Well I'm not totally busy but I have a class from 6 in the evening to 8.
It's American Institute for English Proficiency and my bestfriend was the one who invited me there to enroll. It is in Makati so basically I'm tired of my daily trip (I live in Pasig). Yet, being part of that class is worthy. I gained new friends and learned so much with the lively conversations, modules and activities. It's really fun learning American accent. Surely I will learn more in the coming days. Karma for the AIEP!

Usually I do my computer stuff in the evening but now I prefer to sleep early. I know some of my friends will react if they can read this of course, because they know that I'm a computer addict and somekinda insomiac. Haha!

Twist!

Lately I'm doing our Department's newspaper layout. Damn I think we can't finish and produce it. First is due to the lack of budget and the second thing is the lack of time and cooperation of the other members. Sometimes I become regretful of handling and saying yes to our editor-in-chief when he gave me that position because now (not to be haughty) I think I'm the only person who's concern and very problematic with regards to this. But I should not be lament that this things happened to me. I know in the end things will be settle down and we can finish this project.

Another dilemma? Our Policy Paper-slash-Thesis since we are Political Economy student we are working on a policy. We already have the proposal but the interview part is not yet planned. If no one shows his or her interest in making the paper, or doing the first move, no one will follow and I'm tired kicking off.

Since I'm on my fourth year in college professors now expect too much. They demanded too much, for example the reports and the quizzes. In our International Politics we always have a right-minus-wrong quiz which was really, truly difficult. Err. Some of us got a negative grade.

Opps! I think I messed up this post with so much raves and rants.
Well this is my blog so just go on the flow. Haha!

As Patrick the Starfish said:

"Everything will be ok in the end. If it is not ok, then it is not yet the end."

Very inspiring quote from a not so intelligent but cute creature. =)

Goodnight Guys!

^Jesus we’re living for Your Name 
We’ll never be ashamed of You 
Whoa o oh 
Our praise and all we are today 
Take take take it all 
Take take take it all

flowers bloom..

2009-07-08T23:23:00.006+08:00

Happy with him..

though we weren't able to have that perfect and smooth sailing relationship..
the ups and downs of life makes us unite again and promised to make things better
and try once more..

the magic of being in love..

iloveyou honey.. =)

what's inside Shella?

2009-06-13T21:17:00.002+08:00

Howdy!

Browsing on my wall in FaceBook I got curios with my friend Janine’s post. It was quiz entitled “What’s Your Inner Self” immediately I started the quiz. And here’s the result.

You a perfect balance of everything.

You've gone through a fair share of things to be able to put yourself in people’s shoes. You are caring and understanding. You are fun and warm to be around with. You tend to help people. You know what’s it is like to be at in all time low and you know how to deal with things lot. And you are good friends with all of your friends. You are kinda like the goldie locks of personalities. The things you do are practical, but sensitive to whom it would affect. You are at ease with yourself, and have spent a good deal of time finding yourself, and now that you have, you've finally bloomed into something beautiful.

Ahuh! I was shocked with the results because I think it’s true. Every time I did some quiz on the net I always got the same answers. And hey I’m a Libra. The connotation that we try to balance everything sprouts from nowhere in I.

So for those interested go get this quiz!
Here’s the LINK.

^credits to Face Book and their apps!

First Tagged!

2009-06-11T22:17:00.005+08:00

Yey!

Totally tired but whoah!

I GOT A JOB!

For the first time ever in my life, i got a gob. Words are not enough to show my excitement for the coming contract signing. I was hired in Pacific Hub Corporation located at Robinson's Equitable Tower near Robinson's Mall in Ortigas. It's a call center and I applied as a Customer's Service Representative (International).

Schedules, training period as well as the salary is not yet discussed, we'll see on Saturday. Yet I'm still excited and ecstatic. I hope it wont have any conflict with my school's schedule. Err.

But as of now I need to finish our policy paper for some revisions. So still work, work, work!

^light a lamp..

Literature Article

2009-06-08T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hello guys!

I just wanna share you my article to be publish in our department magazine. For the fact that I'm like Garfield that is too lazy to do anything I just edited my previous blog post and turned it into a more favorable and life-learning story.

Have fun reading and enjoy! Ü

__________________

MY-LIFELESS-SO-CALLED-COMPANION

A companion means a friend. Sometimes, that can mean a buddy. And other times, they can be an accompanying person—someone that you can trust. That person is one who you can share your secrets too, and to keep them. But then, not all our companions are trustworthy. Some become our foes, for they spilled our secrets.

I remembered when I first saw Dhan. He sat quietly at the corner of the room. I saw in his eyes the bright side of life. It’s his charm and his positive look that made me sit beside him.

I held his hand. It was so soft and warm. I quickly hugged and kissed him. I smelled his watermelon perfume that made me hug him so tightly. He didn't react. Then suddenly, my cousin entered the room.

She said he was a gift when she turned 18. Oh, I forget to tell you, Dhan is a teddy bear.

I was fascinated and loved his cuddliness from the day that I saw him. And whenever I went to sleep over at my cousin’s house, I always looked for him and hugged him until I fell asleep.

Essentially that's the reason why my cousin ended up giving him to me. She said that Dhan can make me feel warm and comfortable especially during my trips to Tagaytay.

And that’s how our friendship started.

At the present time it’s really hard to find a real friend. Even though I have my other 3 cousins to listen to my raves and rants in life, they all get busy at some point, and only Dhan is available. That’s why now, he's my number one companion.

Sometimes I talk to him. (Sounds a bit psychotic but yes it’s true, except I don’t do it in front of other people.) Most of the time however, whenever I feel sad, depressed or stressed, I just hug him tight. In times of tears and laughter I have him on my side. Yes, he may not give me advices and such, but he can be considered as a loyal friend too.

Though he can't respond to what I'm saying to him at least, at some point he makes me feel better. They say pains are eased through sharing it to others and Dhan has shared a lot of mine.

Sometimes it’s enough that you have that someone who will listen to you no matter what your sentiments are—someone whom you can share your secrets to and have a hundred percent assurance that they won't spill it to others.

He is always there for you not just because he said so, but because that was what he showed you.

He can make you smile by just looking onto his face and someone whom you can hug anytime for a much better feeling.

I know he can't move or whatnot. Atleast he didn't promise me anything. That's why though he can't hug me back, I’m still I'm so happy having a companion like him.

^comments please!?

and the blame goes to...

2009-06-04T20:42:00.004+08:00

Weather: Heavy Rain Pouring Outside
Location: Bedroom

What a remorse night I have.
What will I do? Waah!

I have this friend-slash-former suitor-slash-material boyfriend who’s making crazy things by wearing himself through walking from school to their house which was really not a joke.

The story goes like this. After me and boyfriend broke up he was the one who acted like my “knight in shining armor” that’s why in a short period of time I thought that I already overcome and moved on with my ex. I think the way I entertained and treated him made him think too that he will be my boyfriend-to-be which I also thought at first.

But then I realized something.

I realized that what I’m did is wrong. I should not let him enter my ward not until that ward is totally prepared to be use by others.

So I told him my decision and after that we never talked again. Even a casual nod and a smile.

And now my bestfriend told me that thing. That he’s walking rain or shine from school to their home. For those here in the Philippines, imagine he’s walking from Sta. Mesa Manila to Caloocan (near Navotas). Damn. I was shocked after hearing that half gossip half true story from my bestfriend (because he’s not that sure). But still my mind’s engine goes up and starts running.

Was that my fault?
Yes! Pity on me. But yes I admit, absolutely that’s my fault.

I FEEL SO BAD, SO MEAN AND I POSSESS ALL THE GUILT RIGHT NOW.

What will I do? I can’t even ask him for a coffee to make things up.

I need to be strong to face the trouble I made.
I need to.
I have to.

^Feels so shitty!

Summer's Over

2009-06-03T13:03:00.011+08:00

Howdy!

I miss everyone.
The OJT thingy makes me busy. And in the past 2months so many things happened and i can't mention it all. So i think i better hopped those stories and just cherish them, whether good or bad, reminisce them whenever I wanted. Haha!

Pictures!
They can tell a lot.

[These are our time card. My two close friends during our OJT and even in classroom: Jejomar and Gandhi.]

[with the boss': starting on your left: Ma'am Joy, Ren, Gandhi, me, Jejomar, Reniel, the chief, Ma'am Rosie and Ma'am Karen]

[together with the other statisticians]

[with Sir Francis, my favorite? nah my close statistician..]

Wanna see my other picture? Just visit my friendster account.

Hmm.. so gotta go..
Ciao!

^closer and closer..

small dilemas in life..

2009-04-26T12:39:00.005+08:00

Mood: Sluggish

Now Playing: Poker Face (party? ;p)
Location: Kitchen

Last Thursday, nahulog ako sa hagdan! Stupidity Strikes. That happened on my friend's apartment. It's because the way down her apartment was so dark and for the fact that my eyes are weak specially in dark, bruggsh! I got a ankle sprain. I missed one or two steps. Take note I'm in my high heels pa.

So last Friday I stayed at home to rest. Two days with bandage and two days of struggle in walking. Now nothing to worry, I fell much better. I'm doing good.

On the other side of my life:

I'm practicing my baking skill. Whoah! After some days of cooking different Filipino delicacies and breads. I can conclude that baking is not my forté. My sister-in-law told me that I'm good in cooking pasta and main dishes (they said that they loved my baked tahong!). Yet, I'm won't give up. I badly want to learn. That's why I'm here at our kitchen. I'm planning to bake banana bread. Aha! Wish me luck guys!

^miiix together!

so bad..

2009-04-21T20:00:00.002+08:00

Tired.
Badtrip.
Wanted to Cry.

Damn it! I hate my brother this time.

Though he was the one who bought this laptop I hate him for not taking good care of it. Just after 3days that i didn't use it now I was shocked to see a line on the LCD. A straight blue line that whatever program I open it appears right in front of it. Waah! What happened to the LCD of this laptop!

Anyone who can help/suggest me what to do?

I really hate him! >,<

to my special TWIN..

2009-04-16T01:02:00.015+08:00

*Vanity Always Strikes*

howdy!

She's my twin sister. Romalyn. Oma. Though not by blood but by heart.
I love her like a real sister because she treats me like one.
She's always at my side. A hundred percent.

Thanks to our Parliamentary Class and Youth Congress I meet her last October 2008. Honestly, I really don't know everything about her but when we're together it's just like we've meet long long time ago. Like a long-lost-sister? :)

Both chinky eyes. Both pretty. Both STRONG.

I can say that I'm really blessed having her.
She's one of the brick on my wall.

To my twin:
I miss you and I hope to have a bonding moment with you again.
Thank you for everything.
Iloveyou so much twin.

^mushy me!

mahalaga ka alam mo ba?

2009-04-14T23:30:00.005+08:00

Pagod si Chai.
Sobrang pagod.

Sa buhay minsan kailangan mong magsakripisyo. Minsan kailangan mong magparaya. Minsan kailangan mong isipin na ikaw lang mag-isa sa mundo para hindi ka umasa sa iba.

Pero dahil sa ginagawang mong yon may mga taong natutuwa at hindi natututo. Hindi natututo at kapalit ng mga bagay na nagpahirap sayo ay ang kaligayahan at kaginhawahan nila.

Kung tutuusin maganda sa pandinig.

Ginawa mo ang bagay na yon para sa kanya.
O kaya naman ay..
Ginawa mo ang bagay na yon para sa kanila.

Parang bayani ang dating. Nakakabango ng pangalan at nakakataas ng pagkatao. Subalit sa likod ng mga papuri, natanung mo ba ang sarili mo kung naging masaya ka at para saan ginagawa mo?

Sa araw araw na ginawa ng Diyos ang mundo, nakatuon lang talaga ang atensyon ko sa pamilya ko. Sa buhay ko. Limitadong paki-alaman ko ang buhay ng iba, depende na lang kung mahalaga din sya sa buhay ko. Wula naman sigurong masama sa pagpapakita na nag-aalala ka, ganoon pa man alam nya na wula kang hinihinging kapalit sa pinapakita at pinaparamdam mo.

Yong tipong nagpapaalala dahil ayaw mo syang mapasama? Pwede rin ang ung tipong minumulat mo ang mata nya sa pwedeng mei hindi magandang mangyari kapag hindi nya ginawa yon at inuna ang ibang bagay. O kaya naman ay ang madalas na pagsasabi at pagpapaalala na gawin mo yan dahil para din naman yan sa ikabubuti mo.

Pero bakit minsan may mga tao yatang sadyang ang tingin sa ginagawa mo ay mali. Kahit sabihin mo ng paulit ulit ang dahilan. Parang isang puting papel. Tuldukan mo. Ano ang unang mapapansin? Ang dumi. And tuldok. Pero ang malinis na parte ay parang wula lang.

Masarap sa pakiramdam na napapasaya mo ang taong mahal mo. Masarap din sa pakiramdam na natutulungan mo ang mahalagang tao sa buhay. Pero syempre ang pinakamasarap sa pakiramdam ay kapag nakikita at nararamdaman mo na pinapahalagahan ng taong iyon ang mga bagay na ginagawa mo para sa kanya.

Masakit isipin na minsan ang tingin nya ginagawa mo lang iyon para sa sarili mo. Para lang sa ikabubuti mo. Pero, madalas yata ay nangyayari na yon.

Mas mabuti pa tuloy na manahimik ka na lang. Huwag ng maki-alam sa iba. Sino ka nga ba? Kahit paulit-ulit mong sabihin na "para din naman sa atin to" wala din. Parang nagsalita ka sa hangin.

Kaya bago pa sumama ang loob mo tigilan mo na.

Magtatanong sya : Sumagot ka
Ngingiti sya : Ngumiti ka
Makikipagusap : Makisama, makipagusap

Pero kung wula? Di wula.
Magulo. Ang gulo ng mundo. Wag ng gawing kumplekado.

^itutulog ko na lang to..

hypocrite yet the best..

2009-04-12T21:59:00.012+08:00

(how far would you go to keep the hope of love alive?)

________________

Nostalgic Smile

a girl is crying
she screams for a piece of mind
people came then stop

suddenly it rain
they say raining means blessing
now tears are falling

nights are getting cold
frustration and depression
it reaches it's peak

chop her stubborn heart
useless since can’t decide
don't know what to do

she's a doomed princess
if someone ask you just smile

it’s a perfect answer

______________

Sometimes I wish to run out of this insane situation. I can focus on other things. They aren't the one who makes my world revolves. But, yet, until now, it triggers my mind. Sorry, I think I made you confused. Err. Let me just share you the scenario:

I broke-up with my guy then this old suitor of mine got into the picture.

Then, now they craft my mind. The first guy is asking for a new beginning so that he can prove that he'd learned his lessons. The second man was my former suitor. Before, I told him that I not ready (somekinda like that for him to leave me) however as years passed (take note years) I've learned to like him and now we're too close with each other.

I know I can't have then both so I'm trying to balance everything. Damn.
The hardest thing to do.

Hence, whenever someone asked me about my situation with this guy or that. The safest answer is just to SMILE.

^Am I torn between two lovers? Err.

my poem is not that good, IM NOT A WRITER, Just a blogger? =p

Early Maundy Thursday

2009-04-09T02:00:00.007+08:00

Time: 2:06AM

Just got home!
Early bird huh? :D

I watched a play in our baranggay hall court.

The traditional "Sinakulo". A re-enactment of the life of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Young amateur actors and actresses but still they were able to produce a good play.

Some actors are friends.
Others are may cousins.
Few are my admirers? Lol. Just kidding.

The props head committee was my cousin. And most of the technical and props committee are my close boy friends. (As usual, I'm one-of-the-boys.) So I went there to show my support and to entertain my self too.

Tomorrow, I mean this evening they will continue the half-part of the play together with what they told me the Last Supper and on Friday the "Syete-Palabra" which was honestly I really don't know. (Pity on me? ahaha!)

So I guess I badly needed to watch it.

Nothing much to say.
Good Night Guys.

^time for nilaynilay..

Trivia*
On this day (Maundy Thursday) four events are commemorated: the washing of the Disciples' Feet by Jesus Christ, the institution of the Mystery of the Holy Eucharist at the Last Supper, the agony of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, and the betrayal of Christ byJudas Iscariot.

my-lifeless-so-called-companion

2009-04-07T00:31:00.013+08:00

Hi there friends!

I want you to meet my baby. Dhamar.

It was a gift when she turned 18. When I first saw Dhamar I was fascinated and loved his cuddliness. I was even the one who gave the name Dhamar which came from the name "Danny and Marian"; Ate's classmate who gave her this bear.

Whenever I went and sleep in Taytay, I always look for him and hug him until I fell asleep.

Basically that's the reason why Ate Joyce gave him to me last November 1, 2008. She said that Dhamar can make me feel warm when I went to Baguio for our Youth Congress.

And here he is. A bit bored like me. Ahaha!

He's my number one companion.
My loyal friend.

Though he can't response to what I'm saying to him atleast at some point he makes me feel better. Pain are eased through sharing it to others.

Sometimes it enough that you have that someone who will listen to you no matter how long you sentiments are. Someone whom you can share you secret and have a hundred percent assurance that he won't spill it to others. Someone who's always there for not just because he say so, but because that was what he showned you. Someone that can make you smile by just looking onto his face and someone whom you can hug anytime for a much better feeling.

I know he can't move or whatnot. Atleast he didn't promise me anything. That's why though he can't hug me back, still I'm so lucky and happy having a companion like him.

^promise no more!

para sayo..

2009-04-06T02:14:00.009+08:00

"Pinipili ng tao na maging miserable, kaya nga hanggang ngaun ay umiiyak ka pa rin"

Masakit. Nakakagulat. At nakaka-iyak. Magulo.

Wulang sinuman ang may karapatang sabihan ako at husgahan tungkol sa isang bagay dahil wula sya o ikaw sa position ko. Hindi mo alam ang tunay na nararamdaman ko.

Pinipili nga ba ng isang tao na maging miserable and buhay nya? May tao bang gustong maging magulo at wulang saysay ang panahon na nilalagi nya sa mundo? Mas gugustuhin mo bang umiyak buong araw kung alam mo naman may makakasama na magpapangiti sayo? Masaya ba kapag "miserable" ang buhay mo?

Hindi pinipili ng tao na maging miserable ang buhay nya. May mga bagay lang talaga na mahirap takasan. Na hindi masabi o maamin o maipakita sa tao sa paligid mo dahil mayroon ding mga nakakainmpluwensya dito.

Hindi naman kase basta basta lang pagdedesisyon sa buhay. Tulad ng sa kanin, hindi mo pwedeng isubo at kapag napaso ay iluluwa mo. May mga desisyon sa buhay na hindi mo alam ang kakalabasan. May mga bagay na pinipili tayo na nagiging dahilan ng pagiging miserable ng buhay naten. Pero hindi ba naiisip ng mga tao sa paligid mo na may higit na mas malalim na dahilan kung bakit iyon ang napili mong tahakin? Naging mapagmasid ba sila bago husgahan ang tao at sabihin na ang buhay nya ay naging miserable dahil ito pinili nya?

Mahirap magbitaw ng mga salita lalu pa't hindi mo alam ang takbo ng buhay ng isang tao.

"Destiny is the result of our own choice" Uo. Tama. Pero sa pagdedesisyong ito parang kang tumataya ng lotto. Hindi mo alam ang maaari mong makuha o mapanalunan. Ang buhay ay parang sugal lamang.

Hindi ko piniling maging miserable.
Sadyang mahina lang ang kalooban ko.
Mabilis lumuha. Tao lang ako. Nasasaktan din.
Darating din ang panahon na masasabi ko ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit ako nagkakaganto.

Kung ikaw ang tatanungin ko ngaun:

"Pinili mo bang maging miserable ang buhay mo?"

^magulong utak ko.. sana naintindihan nyu..
*sana mabasa nya to.

chai is DEPRESS.

2009-04-05T02:27:00.012+08:00

Aha!

Good morning sunshine..

I thought its only 11pm but.. whoah! 3:00am is the time.

I've lost my sanity making this "image inside a text" picture in Photoshop. Ahaha! So what can you say? Good or not that bad? I won't accept a bold BAD answer. I had a hard time looking for the steps huh. Lol.

Anyways look at these:

I cleaned and arranged my desk! A sign that I'm depress. Ö
Oh noo.. nah!

LONELY but still in VANITY MOMENT:

Last night (Saturday) I'm craving for Mcdo Float and Fries (another sign of depression? Ö) so I went to Silver City. But then we I came, two parties are on going. Though it's already 8:30 in the evening the customers are over flowing. As a result I end up staying at Starbucks.

To have a peaceful time and be alone. That's my number one goal why I get out of our boring house. My former classmate, Iris, surprisingly served me my Caramel Frap Coffee.

Sip. Read. Think.
Think. Sip. Read

Then vanity strikes.

Who says that I can't smile though problems invade?
Nah. I'm stronger than you've thought.

Then after that, another sip, another reading, stop and THINK again.

I miss the person who talks and cheers me when I'm so down. Err. Where are you now? ='c

Weirdo Life.

^I'm stuck!

You are Wanted..!

2009-04-03T23:58:00.003+08:00

Mood: Tired and SLEPPY

Yeah! I’m sleepy. The second day of OJT is ____? Cool. Nice. Okay. No Comment. Ahaha!
So many stories to tell but, nah, I dunno how I will start. Hmm..

OJT Thingy:
-Doing good. The NSO Staffs are nice specially Ma’am Karen who guide us in everything. Encoding surveyed data everyday. Argh!

Policy Paper:
-Stand by Mode. Since Angeline and Jerome (my bestfriend) is also busy with their OJT Thingy and also Reniel is also having his OJT in NSO we don’t have enough time for it. Maybe we can work this coming Holy Week.

Friendship.
-Honestly, I miss someone. Yah! You got it right. My best friend. Lately he’s not talking/texting/calling/chatting with me and he never ever told me about his plan special the one I’ve read on his planner. A retreat. I even asked him twice or thrice about that but he didn’t response. Aww! I also miss my colleagues, my close friend and my batchmates. Do I need to mention them all? Ahaha!

Love Life:
-Ahuh!? Suitors please line up. Ahaha! Just kidding. I don’t why I’m opening this topic? Anyways my life is like an open book already. Hmm. I have this special someone. No malice at all. As of now we’re just good friends. I think I need to know him better and be sure on what I really feels for him. Ö

I miss my normal life.
Your so outlandish chai.
Better sleep now.

^step by step..

Economic Term:

2009-04-01T23:39:00.007+08:00

OPPORTUNITY COST

The cost of an alternative that must be forgone in order to pursue a certain action. Put another way, the benefits you could have received by taking an alternative action.

Example: The opportunity cost of going to college is the money you would have earned if you worked instead. On the one hand, you lose four years of salary while getting your degree; on the other hand, you hope to earn more during your career, thanks to your education, to offset the lost wages.

(thanks to www.answers.com)

On-the-Job-Training-Troubles

Err. Define TIRED. What a day.

Excuse me for writing in TAGalog-EngLISH language but I'm not in the mood to blog everything in English.

Naguguluhan na ko!
Haay. I went to Congress for my OJT but then the personnel told me that they already have trainees and not accepting anymore.

So disappointed, sad and empty minded I walk through the overpass of Quezon City without thinking for my next destination.

Suddenly, I remember “may cellphone pala ko” Ahaha! I texted my friends where are they. Ayoko naming sayangin yung araw ko ng ganun lang.

Gandhi (one of my classmate) replied and said that they will go to National Statistic Office in Pureza, Sta. Mesa. Immediately I went there. Luckily, earlier I told Ren (another classmate) to include my name on the NSO recommendation letter.

At the said office the four boys: Gandhi, Ren, Jejo and Reniel chosen me to be the representative to go up in the HRMS. And the rest was history.

We got the job. On the “Economic Indices and Indicators Division, BUT.
Err.We will work as an encoder?! WTF?

At some point I know, OJTs’ of course, sa pinakamababa ka magsisimula, pero. Haay

Disappointment.
Disappointed.

I wasn’t able to make it on Congress and Senate. Damn. That’s the result of being sluggish at home. Ayun. Tamad kasing kumilos at mag-ayos ng mga papers.

When I got home, I checked my mail. Senator Pia Cayetano’s office replied on my mail. They notify me that they acknowledge my message and instruct me what to do.

Now, I’m wishing. The hell I’m longing that they will reply as soon as possible for an interview. But as of now, my future depends on the National Statistics Office.

Now Im confused. Should I look for new agencies or not? Should I wait for Senator Pia's reply or not? Which is which?

Lesson:
Prepare. Think and be prepared. As soon as possible attach and prepare everything you need. Avoid cramming in submitting requirements.

Lesson Learned!
Noted!

^ “Kailangang magdecide ng maayos. Sayang ang Opportunity Cost”
-chai

grotto vista for the first time..

2009-03-31T23:23:00.010+08:00

Hey!

Before I lay down and rest tonight let me just post and share these pictures with you. This was our outing on Grotto Vista last Thursday before the party at Manor.

The quality of the picture was not that good but still thanks to Jona.

Ciao!

^7:30 class for tomorrow..

pathetic chai..

2009-03-30T22:37:00.005+08:00

Location: As Usual. Bedroom.
Background: Fated to Love You TV Series

"ung eyebags mo kasing laki na ng mata mo"
-Kuya Lito (my brother in law)

"an laki ng pinayat mo chai"
-Ate Enjeng (my sister in law)

So what the hell is happening to me?

Not enough sleep.
Less time to rest and relax.
Fewer chocolates and other sweets.
Too much thinking for the Policy Paper? Ahaha! GC.

Normal or not, i don't care much. All I just want now is to sleep.

I wanna run from all the problems and evils around. Though I've read a bewildering confession from someone, I prefer to set it aside.

Aha! Fedrick, Jejomar, Gandhi, Ren and Jerome invaded our house. Ahaha! I almost forgot to share. They are my close boy friends. I cooked my-not-so-good-and-best spaghetti. I wasn't able to prepared for the special ingredients. Anyways they still enjoyed it naman.

Before I end-up this stupid and nonsense blog of mine I would just like to share this quotation to you.

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

Make sense now?

Good Night Stars.

^do not DISTURB: Sleeping

club MANOR...

2009-03-29T20:19:00.021+08:00

Early Evening Post!

I wasn't able to share what happened last Friday and Saturday. Well, I think this pictures tells you a lot.

That was last Friday and I enjoyed it, somehow. 'Coz there are some no-noo's that happened that's why its not a 100%delightful hours for me. But still a chillax moment.

Itchan and Cyrill thanks for the pictures.
Also, Jonathan too, thanks for the treat. (^^,)

Totally "negra" on pictures because of the swimming last Thursday. I'm in tan color yet I'm wearing black. Ahaha! Crazy.

Sorry I'm not in the mood of writing.
Ciao folks!

^which is which? paper or sleep? ahaha!

^Policy Paper again...

mixed emotions : mixed persons

2009-03-26T23:03:00.005+08:00

Why do I feel this way?

This morning on my way to the meeting place for our swimming (yes, I was allowed to have fun with my blockmates) I’m some kinda not excited. I felt terrible disappointed. Ö a bit exaggerated I think but I’m really upset.

This person keeps on bugging me join them with that get-together but crap. Err. I shouldn’t act this way. I don’t have the rights but I felt that jealousy sprouts from nowhere.

Why do I keep on sticking on a person who doesn’t need me at all?
I’m just wasting my time focusing on him while he has that 100% focus on the other girl or should I say his special, really special someone and slap on my face, IT’S NOT ME.

Damn it.
Who are you Chai?

I just enjoyed my day with my special friend who gives his full attention to me. Thank God he's there. Thought not all the time, he makes an effort to be with me when I needed someone or even went I don’t. Ehehe. He always makes me smile.

Mood Swings: from jealousy to happiness and confusion

Remember the party with my colleagues I wrote last night? I didn’t expect that my ex-boyfriend, hmm... no not the right term. My close friend was the man behind that and he said to me that I’m his number 1 reason why he pursues that party at the Manor.

I know him. I know my Ex-BF/close friend. He’s not the type of a guy who will go to a bar party. But then, boom! He organized one just for me. And he’s willing to sacrifices things just for that.

Hell!
Happiness is the word.
Much appreciated.

But why?
Confused. Bewildered. Puzzled.
But still I don't mind that much because I'm so THANKFUL and that’s the only thought that until now still lingers here in my head. Ű

^takaw and payat…

what's the motion on the floor?

2009-03-25T21:29:00.002+08:00

Howdy!

Today was the first day of our summer class for Political Economy Practicum.

I think I’m really out of my mind yesterday and earlier for the fact I have in mind that my class will start at 9am in the morning to 12noon. So I’ve decided to leave the house an hour before the time. Luckily our Professor, which was our dear Economics Chairman didn’t attend the class meeting.

On the way home, my best friend told me that our class really starts at 7:30 in the morning and I was totally shocked. He thought that I’m just being “Little Miss Late” again for the fact that I went to school that late. Ahaha! We keep on arguing which is which. 7:30am or 9am and then when we looked at our registration card, he won. Ahaha! What’s happening to me? Too much thinking for nothing? Err. Insanity strikes again.

Now before I lay down in this mattress I’m still confuse if I will join my block mates tomorrow on our section’s swimming or I will join the bar party with my colleagues on Friday. I can’t have both. This wasn’t part of my budget allocated for this month. Because I expect that my parents won’t allow me to be on that swimming yet now they are setting me free, a bit. Ahaha! I mean they let me go with the guidance of my best friend. ö

So sloppy post.
What-a-LIFE.

^my bear Dhamar is beside me.. . Ü

Dummy Blog

2009-03-24T17:25:00.003+08:00

Location: My own bedroom in Pasig, City
Mood: Ms. dysmenorrheal attacks.

Finally im home again! I’m pretty sick and I hate-love it. I hate it because it’s a bit painful, I can’t move freely (you know girl thing). But still I love it for the fact that I can stay all day in my bed either sleeping or reading or browsing in the net which I usually do during summer vacation without any disturbances from my family.

I’m trying to fix and put more information on this blog. My previous post which about my best friend is I think some kinda mushy. Ahaha! He read it and texted me that he was touched. I thought he will say that I’m so pathetic. But nope…he didn’t.

Maybe for others it’s a bit weird that a blog has background music. “Wula lang” ahaha! I just wanted it to be in this way. Odd. I’m going to change it soon. I’m still looking for a relaxing music that will suite here.

Any suggestions?

^I’m Ms. Independent…

are we really LUCKY?

2009-03-23T18:33:00.005+08:00

Location: Taytay, Philippines
Mood: Senti

Last week my bestfriend and I made a playlist just for us. And on one of the playlist he put a song and pm me to listen to that song. He sadly says that he hope that i won't put malice on that song. When I saw the title I smiled because I knew it. After hearing the song over and over again until now I dont't know what will I say to my best friend. I just keep on smiling.

Duh? Im so blissful having him in my life. Ü

Now Playing:
The song LUCKY by Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat
here's the lyrics:

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

*i hope he can read this..

^thank you BESTFRIEND..

Where am I?

2009-03-21T01:41:00.002+08:00

Hey! Look whose back.

Damn it. After a long period of time the sarcastic girl is now kicking again. As I’ve said before this will be my last blog ever. I want to keep my words.

So, maybe your questions will go like this:

How are you?
What happened?
Are busy?
How was your study?
Any love life?

Few words that can make my mind ach in sharing all the real answers.

Honestly, Im freaking out.

First week of March we were sooooo busy in doing our research papers, thesis and policy paper. Also final exams were given during the deadlines of those papers.

Ohh! I almost forget last February; I won the title for the Ms. College of Economics, Finance and Politics 2008 pageant. It was a nice experience for me and a great honor for my parents. Though Im not that pretty and talent and bright, I was able to make it.

I broke up with him. It just happens that I’m not that type of girl who he can control and set limitations that hinders my wants and have power over my freedom. It’s over.

What else? I’m enjoying my life right now. Vacation starts already. More nights to sleep (do I sleep? hmm.. ) And more time to chill and to relax, the “chillax” way.

I got a new secondhand laptop. Ahh we’re not rich. Ahaha! But its good thing that I have one. I don’t need to use our desktop computer. Now Im here in my room alone and can use this whenever I wanted.

Summer classes will start on Wednesday, Wednesday and Saturday classes during vacation. On-the-Job training on weekdays except Wednesday. Im excited to work on Senate of the Philippines under the Senator Richard “Dick” Gordon . Yey!

And that’s it.
Satisfied or not? Uhum.
Queries are entertained.

*the picture was somekinda blurred.. sorry...

^I missed this blog.

October Delight

2008-10-01T22:32:00.007+08:00

October 01, 2008

Start of the month.
Start of my month.

Six nights to go before my birthday! Ahaha! I’m a bit excited for the fact that I’m turning fifteen. Just kidding. I’m turning nineteen yet I looked like a high school student. Actually, nothing really changed when I turned eighteen, the so-called “legal age”. Legal for what? I’m officially permitted to do anything. Know why? It’s the word “trust”.

My family trusts me.
They trust me a lot.

And I will never shatter that trust into pieces.

Opps! More bills to go.
I need to read and comment on the bills made my classmates and youth congress friends.

Ciao!

^network changed: from globe to sun

29th of september...

2008-09-29T14:11:00.002+08:00

my tooth is aching..
>.<

Gawd! I’m not in the mood of making our thesis. I can’t concentrate. Err.

I’m planning to post another poem but still I’m busy. Certified GC (grade-conscious) or just lazy? Whatever! Ahaha!

My brother is inviting to go to the mall with my sister-in-law together with my nephew and niece. Well I better get dress now. It’s my kind of medication. The mall. Lolz

Ciao!

^9 days before our 3 month-sary

for the so-called GUEST

2008-09-23T20:53:00.000+08:00

Who are you to judge me as a "snob" person?

Let me know your name.
Let me know who are you and give me your reason/reasons to come up with that very deductive conclusion. Did I did something wrong to you? Were there instances that you approached me and I didn’t entertain you? What?

Hiding your true identity by just living your name as "Guest" shows that your a bit coward, oh may I say real coward since you like a fight or an argument in the net. How pity.

Defend yourself. I'm an open-minded person don't worry.
You can pm (personal message) or put you comment on this page.

May I share too "ang mga bahag ang buntot ang laging talo".

^you can’t judge, you not aware of my real personality.

busy days..

2008-09-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

Fully loaded!

Damn it im so busy.
I can't even do a glance on this blog in the past few weeks.

Hell days.
I can feel the pressure.
Yes! Im already experiencing the real college life.
Happy yet tired.
Good Luck to me.

^just droppin' by.

the congress

2008-08-27T13:39:00.001+08:00

Shai is: Working on a Bill

Whoosh!

After my delivering my debate speech yesterday with my wobbly hands and voice, now I’m working on a public work bill. It's entitled “Motorcycle Lanes on Main Roads and Highways Throughout the Country ” its just for our Parliamentary Practices and Procedures Subject for us to learn how to make one. I think we will also use this in our incoming simulation/youth congress. I hope that I can make this act better.

In addition, yesterday we went in the House of the Representatives in Congress. At first I thought I wont enjoy being there because of my migraine, but thanks for the medicine I took, I feel okay and I ecstatically explore the house. Ahaha! Pictures here and there.

Even though honestly, the session itself of the congressmen and congresswomen was a bit boring, I still treasure my step in Congress, the place soon I’ll work in. ü

^a lawyer or an economist?

I’m down in the dumps.

2008-08-23T10:39:00.000+08:00

I feel so: depressed (o.O)

I wanna run.
I wanna shout.
I wanna cry.

Really I’m down in the dumps.

This is the 4th invitation I received to be on the G-list in Embassy, yet I can’t make it AGAIN. I want to join with my friends but under circumstances and the people around, badly and sadly I can’t go. I miss the gimik session that I used to do last vacation. However, things change, status change, people change as well as the situation change and this change brought me to the stream of awful disappointment.

I think I shall better shut my mouth now.
I’ll just concentrate on doing my debate speech for Tuesday and the Bill Proposal that I needed today.

Damn it but I’m not in the mood of writing.

^Honestly, I feel so sorry for myself.

Lie-low on blogging...

2008-08-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

Im so: Tired as Usual

Howdy!
What’s new with that sentiment?

As always, I’m tired because my classmates went here in our house for us attend a regular session in our barangay today.

Of course before the meeting I have to entertain them here.
I cleaned the house early this morning.
I layout my cousin’s proposal tarpaulin designs for their coffee festival.
I prepared myself and fixed some papers.
Then I helped my mother cooked our food and set-up the table and ate with my classmates.

After that we directly went to the session and it took almost 5 hours yet we weren’t able to finish the meeting for the fact that 2 of our midterms are to be given tomorrow. We have to read the Analects of Confucius. Damn so long and too difficult to understand. Ahaha!

I just pass by here.

I missed blogging but I don’t have much time now. I think I failed on our Public Finance subject. Crap me. I need enough sleep. I know the answers but I wasn’t able to follow the instruction since I’m too dizzy when I’m taking up the exam. I cried, and cried, and cried after the test. Anyways, I feel better now. I already realized that that’s my fault too; I didn’t sleep early the night before the test.

Now I have to concentrate on my studies.
Nothing else, for the meantime.
Just studies. ü

^damn i really wanna go to emba..

Midterm Week

2008-08-11T09:47:00.000+08:00

Currently Listening: Trans Music

Whoah! 10 days had past.

I wasn’t able to publish a post. Hmm, it’s because last week our midterm examination has started. Six test for my six major subjects.

Last Friday (Aug. 08) that first test was given. It was a big shit. Just kidding. I’m so blissful that I passed that Monetary Economics midterm. Though I wasn’t the one who got the highest score, I think I belong to the highest top 5. *grin.

But still there’s nothing to celebrate yet. Five more assessments to go.

Review.
Review.
and
Review are the things that I have to execute this week.

Honestly I’m a grade-conscious person and I’m not ashamed of it because there nothing wrong being a GC. But surely, I’m not a nerd or a geek.

_________

On the other side of my Life:

We just celebrated our first monthsary.
August 08, 2008

Nothing’s really memorable happened but the thought that I spent my time with him that day (08/08/08) was the moment that I will surely cherish. He will always be a part me. ^^,

^Im going to read Paulo Coelho’s Book.

A Cup of Coffee

2008-08-01T09:00:00.000+08:00

Current Condition: Sluggish In Doing Stuff

Wee! The weather really makes me weak and lazy to go to school. So cold. Plus, I’m experiencing dysmenorrhea right now. It is a medical condition characterized by severe uterine pain during menstruation. Err. I don’t think that I can make it to school but I have too. Not only because its Friday but because I need to talk to our college dean and our chairperson for my best buddy Janno since he stopped attending school now. Also for my Economic Statistic subject which I really love to attend to. Boo on me but I like Math. They said it sucks, but what wrong with the numbers? Ahaha! Lunatic Shai.

Now Playing: This Is Why I’m Hot.
Very irony for the weather. Im already using my old sarong today. Cool. Im like a Muslim.

Hmm. Got to go. I have to prepare myself. Classes start at 12.

Ciao!

^Ohh Dancing. I miss you badly. >_<

Blogging Addiction

2008-07-28T10:33:00.001+08:00

Current Condition: Sleepy, Tired and Full of Load to Work on.

Chilly Morning Guys!

Almost 3 hours before the State of the Nation Address and everywhere you can hear the people uttering all their expectations on what will SONA contain. Again and again promises that are made to be broken.

By the way I would like to welcome my cousin in the blogging world. She said that she read my blog and was a bit convinced. I become one of her inspiration (is that okay to say that? Ehehe) why she ended up having her own.

I’m heavenly delightful that we can now update each other. We’re so busy in school these days that’s why we can’t chat on the phone daily. Also we’re not into using cell phones (txting) in chatting.

My other two close cousins still don’t have a blog and I’m planning to pursue them to make one. Besides blogging is not that intricate. It’s just putting all your thoughts together that day. Expressing what you feel and viola! A post! You can use whatever language your best in. The one you prefer so that you can express the whole you in the post.

You can also find friends here that possesses the same characteristics you have. In addition, blogging is mean of communicating with the people far from you. In this way companionship never fades and the tie on relationships tighten.

Before I was so lazy posting. But now encoding all the words on my mind is similar as a loud shout. It’s like a easing some pain. After I a post I was really relieved.

This blog is like a vitamin to me. It generates my heart and mind healthy.

So for the others why not try to have one!

^Actually this is my 4th and finest blog.

stike 1

2008-07-26T13:30:00.000+08:00

Another post for the day!

It’s because my first post today (the SONA) is not really related on this one. Just wanna share why I’m annoyed till now.

Having a relationship with someone is sometimes frustrating to the point that every move you do should be rhymed, and every bad response from your partner should be follow up with mushy actions. Either pleasing him in sweet baby talk or through sensual affection.

And that’s the problem with us or should I say the problem with me. I dunno how to fix things back. Short-temper attitude towards me add pressure making me feel that all the guilt was to be blame on me.

I love him.

I love you and I know you can feel that but...

can you please let me adjust?

^Kudos on Problem.

my political stand

2008-07-26T13:20:00.000+08:00

Current Status: Over-loaded with School Works plus Being Annoyed

Three days before the State of the Nation Address. I’m a bit excited on what will President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo will proclaim and boast on her previous years serving the Filipino people. The follow-ups with her project like the Super Regions, construction of the Clean Coal Power Plant, Cheaper Medicine Bill, Stronger Laws against Election Violence and the giving 121B fund for Education that she promised to execute in 2007. Those are just some of the highlights in her flowery and dramatic speech. I hope that before giving her word again she’ll make sure that we, the Filipino masses sensed it.

Like me as a student the allocated 121B for our education is like a planet. I know that it was there in the universe but I can’t be there or experience to be there. I don’t need to tackle it more. It’s just simple like that. Where was the said fund go?

But aside from those tentative things 0ne query triggers my mind a lot.

Does still the government people have there conscience? They are acting innocently in front of the public that they didn’t do anything appalling move behind us. The plundering and the corruption in every project they passed. Using the government fund for their personal necessities and luxury. Even sometimes using the fund for their hidden agenda and rebellious propaganda. Other keeps on subsidizing it on their pockets for the coming election. How pitiful our country is with these officials lead by a fascist leader.

Well I’m expecting another flowery speech from the president made by her writer. Two hours of lies and busted promises. We want actions not convey.

Absolutely after delivering her speech booboos from the opposition will surely sprout here and there.

^I'm not an anti-Gloria.

Pissed-Off

2008-07-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

It was bullshit!

I have nothing against anybody unless he/she made something bad on me. I did not judge any person because my friend hates her. And I wont surely make an awful statement on a person that I don’t know personally.

Damn you to compare me. That’s why we are called INDIVIDUAL. We have our own characteristics and specialties. Sorry I’m not beautiful like your goddess-like friend. But I have a pleasing and high-class personality with an extensive mind in doing fine manners towards other.

Also I have my name. Don’t address me as “That girl”.

You’re so pathetic. Behave like a real lady, not like a bitch. Insecurities will just make you worst. If your friend hates me, let her loathes me, but with regards to you? It’s none of your business.

^Simple comment, irksome outcome.

an old wretched poem

2008-07-17T12:03:00.000+08:00

Hindrance

I wanna fall and be with you
But there’s something telling me not to
Don’t known what’s the reason behind
Things separate us with a big line

We love each other only in mind
A special feeling we cannot hide
Lover's act based on trust
But our denial is a must

We can talk and see each other
We can idle away and sing together
But there’re limitations that we consider
And that we should relieve forever

You’re a whimsical and cheerful to me
So do I a bubbly person you can see
Laughter in our eyes never fades easily
'Cause we cherish each other happily.

But despite those smile in our eyes
As you know we cannot tell lies
Desire a path without charade in our face

And start a journey in that maze

___________

As i've promise here's the another poem that i made. Sounded that Im so emotional when I was doing it. That was for my a friend when I was in first year college. Though our "too-much-close-friendship-like-lovers" didn’t continue to a "so-called-relationship" Im happy that even now were friends, the feeling is gone but we still have the attachment.

Im contented and blissful with that.

Just wanna share.

^Im not a writer. Criticisms are accepted.

mixed thoughts

2008-07-14T15:14:00.000+08:00

Rainy Afternoon!

I’m stuck at home. Anyways nothing's new. Every Monday afternoon my pc is my best buddy. Actually I don't have any topic or subject for today's posting. I just want to publish something.

Let me just discuss anything under the sun:

I have a new nail polish. Manicure and pedicure for tomorrow's class. So girly.

Oh may I share storm Helen is starting to invade the country. Its already 24degree Celsius. A bit cold. Here in Pasig heavy rain and strong winds are frightening and im a bit chillin'. I’m wearing my pajamas in the afternoon. Ahaha! Insanity you may think but it’s really cold here. Maybe because I’m still ill with cough and colds.

I need a Humorous speech tomorrow. But I still don't have any. Im not in the mood of writing. For the fact that really don't know how to write a humorous speech. Im not a comical person. Duh? And I already have confidence why should I need to gain more? Ahaha! Just kiddin'. I’m planning to cram it tonight.

Next time I’ll be posting my poem. Maybe on Wednesday, or on Thursday but surely not tomorrow.

Hmm.. what else? I’m missing someone. Do I need to shout the name? Ahaha! I miss My Jonathan. Our 8th day will be on Wednesday. I hope that we can see each other even for an hour.

That’s it. I’m already starving already.
Ciao!

^Fixing this blog is a bit complicated.

firework display!

2008-07-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

Currently Status: Tired yet Happy

My legs are aching. my mind is gidding. My eyes is teary.
Yet
Im blissful. Im contented. Im so in-love.

We had our galaan session today. We went in Megamall then in Mall of Asia. We walked and walked and ate and talked and ate and talked from 2:30pm till 9:30 this evening. Actually I just changed my clothes then do this posting. As I’ve said Im so tired yet happy because I spent my day with my Jonathan. The best part today was when were in MOA, its the fireworks that counts. So romantic for me, the thought that we were together that moment watching the sky with bright lights. It was so heartwarming for a person like me that is so emotional.

Together we cherish every moments because Fridays' and Sundays' are the only constant day that we can see each other. They will have their family gathering tomorrow that’s why we had our date today.

Also yesterday he surprised me because he confessed why he had difficulties when walking. He said that he joined fencing training on their school just trying his luck to be an athlete. I asked him why he did that. He just answered, "Because I want you to be proud of me". Aww! I was so touched. Really I was shocked. He’s doing that for me. I wasn’t able to comment. May I repaet "really I was shocked". He’s making sacrifices for better things between us.

*Sigh.

I can’t explain how glad I am. Having him as my boyfriend is not shameful. But doing such thing makes me really shout and show to others how proud and very lucky I am having him in my life.

I hope that this good relationship between us continues.

^My heart grows fonder.

so unwell

2008-07-10T11:48:00.000+08:00

Mornings habit every Thurdays: Surfing the Internet.

Ohm, bad intro for this post but I’m sick. I have a cough and cold. I think it started last Wednesday and it's already a weeklong. My mother stopped me to take medication since I drunk already more than 8tables with 500milligrams together with other medication for my allergy, migraine, and dismenorhea, all for a week. I might get over-dosed.

Water-therapy is what I’m practicing right now. Water, and water, and water for the whole day. It’s a bit good for dieting thingy but still I have to eat for my immune system.

3hours from now I will be on school and do those difficult math problems in our Monetary Economics. I hope that my brain will function. Crap. There are times that I think can’t comprehend well because of this cold.

Good luck to me guys.
Pray for me to get well soon.

*Sniff
*Sniff
*Achuu!

^I miss my special someone now. I need his comfort. Ahaha!

a day with him

2008-07-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

Whoaah!

That’s is. In a snap things are settled down and I hope that it would last for a lifetime. I hope that he was really the one. I hope that I made the right decision.

July 08 2008
Between to 7pm-7: 30pm
Not so good place: inside a car
Along Crossings, Mandaluyong
Going to Megamall

That’s the details. I can't believe that for the first time ever Im already committed to my special someone. The feeling is so blissful yet a bit nervous for the circumstances that may hinder us to have a good relationship. I'll just enjoy every single moment when we are together. I will show him how I care. I will make sure that he will not regret that I came to his life. Also, trust is our no.1 must.

He’s my first boyfriend but he said that he didn't want to be my first but my LAST. aww!

Now I’m contented having him, attached with him and fully committed.

Adjusting, adapting, and settling.
3 things I should execute this time.

I can't express through his blog how happy I am right now and how much I love him. Things that happened today still linger on my mind. Lets just say that this time WITHOUT HIM MY EVERYDAY LIFE WON'T BE COMPLETE.

tueday's line

2008-07-01T19:19:00.000+08:00

I can’t find the right and the best word to describe what I feel today. It’s a mixed emotion of being happy, missing someone, tired, exhausted and sleepy.

Im happy for the fact that I got 20/20 in our paper in Economics with Public Finance because not everyone got that score. It’s a reaction paper about Douglass North and his works in the field of economics. I made that when the storm, Frank invaded our country, I was so sleepy and lazy back then but I was able to make the best of it.

I miss my special someone right now. We weren’t able to see each other today because of the conflict in our schedule. Today is Tuesday. Friday is our day. Though we were together yesterday I miss him already. We weren’t able to have communication the whole day too because my phone is lowbatt. I want to talk to him right now but he is still on the way home.

Tired. It was last week; especially last night I had my cramming session. I finished my report that was supposed to be discussed today. But it was postponed since our professor enjoyed discussing his lecture and forgot that he assigned us to report this day. He said that we would have our oral next week. It’s a bit disappointing but at least there's a week more for me to prepare.

Im so exhausted, a bit problematic and sleepy right now. Lack of sleep, no complete meals, mixed pointers in mind, problems and works in school. I’m trying to make up things one by one. First through sleeping, eating though without rice, scheduling everything and doing stuff 2-3days before the deadline is what I have in my plan, and being optimistic in everything is what I have as my source of strength that i can do all the task assigned to me.

goodluck to me!

goodluck to us!

cramming days

2008-06-29T10:39:00.000+08:00

So many things to do that are to be submitted on tuesday but until now i wasn't able to do any. Im so lazy doing my homeworks. Maybe because i don't have energy for the fact that im not eating rice for a week. A no-rice-DIE-T. Just kidding. Im really in a diet, i need to lose some weight though im not that fat. My tummy area is damn so big. Ahaha! I already stop drinking beers.

Thats the reason why i was not able to post new entry.

Sometimes Im not in the mood.
Sometimes I dont have anything to share.
Sometimes Im so busy doing other more important things
Sometimes Im just lazy.

Got to go already. I need to start morning cramming!

mind-set of the damsel

2008-06-25T11:32:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder who's the gurl behind this blog? Where did she get all her thoughts? How she writes? How her mind works?

The girl who hides her tears by laughing.
The girl who hides her pain by smilling.
The girl who hides the sadness by lying.

The damsel who tries to cover everything by making herself happy despite of the sorrow she felt.

How pathetic am I you may thought but I have a superb optmistic mind-set. I believe in the adage "every cloud has a silver lining".

Life is tough. Really tough. That's why we should be strong enough to face all the obstacles in our life, no matter how rigid it may be.

Me, personally, I have that numerous problems. In schools, in our house, with my friends and even with relatives.

Like in school, I have my so close friend turned into my worst nightmare. He's bullying me now. He teased me and it came to the point that I wanted to cry in school. I wanted to slap him for saying rumors on me. I wanted to punch him. But I was able to control my anger. I just prayed. Prayed for him and prayed for a longer patience. I don't wanna have a fight with him. I don't wanna argue. I just let him talk, talk and talk about me. As long as he doesn't do physical things with me. I will remain calm and silent.

Emotinally he kills me. But optimistically, soon, I believe that things between us will be fix.

The're times when Im alone I wanted to burst. I wanted to cry my heart out. To shout all my pains. To hurt those who hurt me. To perish all my griefs by hurting my own self. But I was bunged. One song says that:

"there's a rainbow always after the rain"

Im stick with it. After the storm in our life surely a rainbow with shine. Another good day. A new beggining. The end of suffering.

That's how i think.
That's how my mind works.
I often think about negative things.

I often think about the people who hated me. Why should I waste my time thinking for them? I have a lot of acquaintances who cares and loves me.

Im happy with friends.
Im contented with companions.
Most of the time I have to cover my angst but little by little i worked on it.

Sometimes we just need to wear charade..

first tag?

2008-06-18T13:38:00.000+08:00

hi bloggers!

its my firts time to have a blog here in blogspot. i do have 2 blogs before, in wordpress and livejournal. but im not that super addicted and updated way back then. thats why i started to create this blog and decided that i will continue this one till i reach the age of 40's. lolz. but seriously i want this blog to be my first and last blog here in blogger.

i copy-paste some of my post in wordpress for some backgrounds. ehehe..

hope that visitors will not get tired visiting here! comments, links, comments are always welcome..

ciao!

undecided thoughts

2008-06-18T13:06:00.000+08:00

Dated: may 24, 2008
From Wordpress

err..
i dunno what to feel right now. this guy is nagging me again. i mean knocking on hearts’ door AGAIN. asking if he has still a space in here ♥. and i don’t know how should i act. there are so many thoughts that stop me to let things happen. its like the famous cliche “my heart says yes but my brain says no”. mind over matter.

he gives me reasons to fall again but also unmarked hints to control my feelings.
he treats me very special.
he’s so sweet when im around.
he keeps on texting me that he cared.
that he still love.

but i have no assurance.

he still have his ex-girlfriend’s pictures on some of his accounts with some mushy captions.
keep on track in his *smart network where he can text his ex.

i enjoyed his company but when the day is over. everything becomes all doubtful.
skeptic.

so skeptic..
and now im the pathetic girl thinking of what to do.

*unfinished..

my summer stress-free vacation

2008-06-18T13:04:00.000+08:00

Dated: April 25, 2008
From Wordpress

Hi everyone!
How’s life?
How vacation?

Well me, I’m still stock in my cousins house in Taytay, Rizal. Anyhow, I’m enjoying being here except for the fact that I can’t go on gimik. We can go to mall, but once a week, or it depends on my other cousin’s mood.

Additionally, I loved to reside here because of the climate. The hotness is not that superb not like in Pasig, where I used to live all of my life. Also I think here I’m stress-free. I have nothing to think of. And if I get too emotional I have my close cousins whom I can talk to. For a short period of time I can forget all my worries in life, all my problems and tribulations that trigger my mind everyday when I’m alone at home. My mentality is at rest over time. ϋ

The clean air invigorates my body.
The fresh fruits rejuvenate my health.
The happy people around revitalize my soul.

Truly this vacation has meant a lot to me.

I have a great time with my cousins, namely Ate Joyce, Krab Mina and Grem Lyn. Funny nicknames, right? That’s the unstoppable spirit on us. We’re so bond together that we have those comical nicknames that we used to call each other. Mine was Chinay Chai.

We talk about everything under the sun. Share our thoughts and insights. Giggle with on our school mistakes and funny experiences. Utter some gossips that we heard that day. Give each other advices and words of wisdom. That’s how open our communication is. Revealing something is not that big deal. They are like my sibs. That’s why I really love them.

I hope that this setting won’t have an ending.
Friend’s forever.
Cousin’s together.

my last song sydrome

2008-06-18T12:58:00.000+08:00

Dated: April 19, 2008
From Wordpress

IF I FALL
by Amber Pacific

This is for the ones who believe their lives won’t change
Hoping that someday things will mend and be the same
And this is for the ones who have lost it all
And all that’s left to gain
Is a simple reminder that the things that we’re blind to slip away

How can I say
Say I’ll be okay

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go on
Just a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on

Now that the line’s been brokenI’m too afraid to just look back
The pages have left an empty space
You were all I hadWhy does it have to be this way
These things they’ll never change
Still I’m left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go on
Just a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go on
Just a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on

_______________

I’m really into this song for the past few weeks. I’m not an emo but I loved this one. This reminds me of my pathetic situation with my special someone. The one I used to loved, but then he left me broken. Optimistically, I thought things will be fine again but then I was wrong.

“How can I say
Say I’ll be okay”

If in reality I was not.

“You were all I hadWhy does it have to be this way
These things they’ll never changeStill I’m left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need”

I find this line irresistible.

“And if I fall through these nights I can’t seem to go onJust a sign that you’re with me gives me the strength to hold on”

Until now, he still lingers on my mind. Yes, I’m not totally over him. It’s sad to admit that after that heartrending tale between us I’m still waiting for him.

Waiting in vain.

I was waiting in vain as my friends said but I know I’m not.

I believe, soon he will see my worth. All the things I made just for him. The attention I pay on him. He will value me as I valued him.

How hopeless am I?
Is this the real me?
Ohh one thing I know.
I just loved.

By the way the rhythm of this song is so relaxing. Listen to it. Here’s the link. Enjoy!

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/amber_pacific/if_i_fall.html

untitled poem

2008-06-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

Dated: April 11, 2008
From Wordpress

Untitled Poem..

Your presence
Wakes me up in the morning
In my dreams
You’re the one I’m with
I cherish ever moments we’ve made together
Think of our future and
Wish that we might last forever.

I assumed things would be fine
No what if’s
No how if’s
Like a teenager boy running
No hindrances
No problems.

But my assumptions exceeds to its maximum
I felt so down
I’m cast down in the rooms of loneliness
I’m doomed
Doomed on the things that happened
He’s like a bubble that was cast in the air
Flocked by the wind and then
Disappeared.

What happened?
Is all I can ask.
What’s the problem?
A question that giddy my mind
Did I do something wrong?
Did I hurt you in a way I didn’t noticed?
Ohh my what happened to us?

He missed that chance
He stick with his past
Yes, I was forfeited
Forfeited by him
But
I felt no anger
Just disappointment
I made a wrong choiceIt’s my fault
Yet I’m not blaming myself
Or anyone
It’s my own choice

At least
I triedI risked
I tried our luck
I risked my heart
I ventured if were meant to be
If were destined to be
Together.

Now
He can free his mind from me
Move away if he wanted
Think over things
Conclude on what he really feels

A chance is only given
On those deserving one
The man who knows how to appreciate
Appreciate everything from big to small
Accepts her love wholly
Accepts the real me.

Someday I will find that man
The man destined for me.
Not now
Not tomorrow
But soon..

____________

They say that a person can write a poem because he/she is inloved or inspired with his/her special someone, but that’s not true all the time. Me, I write poems when I’m totally down. Through this I can express how poignant my heart was. I don’t have the courage to talk to anybody because I know surely tears will fall. I don’t want them to have pity on me.

And now in this poem I’m totally depressed. Disappointment, sadness, and being downcast are the mixed emotions I felt. I never risk my heart before but then when he came I was overjoyed and set-aside all my thoughts about the perils that may lead our way.

But then I made a wrong decision. He’s not ready to love again and I don’t wanna force him to love me back for the reason that I do love him so.

One thing that keeps on running on my mind right now is if he's really for me, he will surely return. If we were meant to be he will make a move for us to be with each other side forever. Im waiting. Still waiting.

As of now were good friends now but the wound that he left in my heart won’t be healed that easy.

yesterday's downfall

2008-06-18T12:46:00.000+08:00

Dated: April 10, 2008
From Wordpress

March 09, 2008

One of the highlights in my life happened. a serious problem with my close friend endeavored our friendship.

For a just petty reason, she’s willing and can give up our friendship. A group message hurted her alot. A message swanking how we really enjoy a party where wasn’t able to attend. I never thought that we will exchanged some personal messages in a mad way. Though most are intellectual and emotional one.

She cried. One of our common friend said. Her purposed is to just say SORRY to me for she wasn’t able to controlled her temper. I think she got mad at me for almost a week. And that personal text message break her silence. But I can’t wholly feel her apology. Some lines in her text still lingers on my mind. Who will not freak-out if a old close friend of yours says that “you’ve change” and advice you to “don’t let your old friends feel that they were set aside“.

Im not setting her aside. Im not taking her feelings for granted. Were just cracking some jokes in that GM. Nothing more, nothing less.

Thank God, now things are settled down. I told her that i don’t wanna waste our friendship just because of that. I say sorry too for being too frank in our conversation and the things that i did which upsets her. She said she wanted to talk to me personally, for us to fully makes things right.
Im 100% willing too.

I love her.
I treasure her.
I appreciate her.
I owe her half of my wonderful life.

That’s why I will never let any tribulations unleash our bond.

My Averting Thoughts

2008-06-18T12:40:00.000+08:00

Dated: April 09, 2008
From Wordpress

Averting Thoughts

You’re my light when everything seems dark
Urge me a lot that left a mark
You curved and design my rotten bark
Induce me to be with the great lark

You’re identical to a scent on a perfume
Can turn all head like a doomed
Relief and relax myself from gloom
And helps very much to make me bloom

To catch your attention is not that hard
But you’re like a jewel with so many guards
Try my best to enter your ward
Yet I’m still nothing in your yard

Damsel around thee always stick
To see you with them makes me feel so sick
‘Coz I know one day you will pick
The one you like, surely will cause me weak

A pen is useless without an ink
Like me I’m worthless if I can’t think
So before anything that can be link
I prefer myself not to sink

_______

i really don’t know how to start this entry.. that’s why i ended up putting one of my old yet memorable poem i made when i was in first year college. this is not the first time i made a blog but i think this will be the first serious and updated blog i will use. geez im ready to accept criticiams.. lol

ciao friends
gotta eat lunch first!